Bork Slowly Borking

 Two cold sores for the price of one. Not an unknown thing for me these days. Once upon a time I never got them. Sailed through my life unafflicted. Now. With spurious health. And a very suspect immune system. The buggers make a semi regular appearance giving a reminder that yeah, your body is not doing well in that war my friend. Ah well. Athena is doing good today. The shot seems to have given her quite a bit of zoom this time. Interesting. Perhaps the dose is once again not quite enough for a month. Getting older. Creakier. Maybe it was just a duff month. But overall she's been doing really well. Something to keep an eye on. Maybe there is room for another dose bump. Or less happier. Additional meds to keep the pains at bay. I checked out some CO2 data the other day for the various countries in the world. Interesting stuff. And it gets somewhat complicated because there's a difference between how much CO2 you are pushing out. And how much CO2 per person ( per capita ) you a...

 Vet day today. Just the usual shot. Athena was as ever her very placid, patient, lovely self. She got lots of fuss from the nurses. I had a lump on her back checked out whilst we were there. It's been growing for more than a year or so. Very slowly. Not the first she's had. And probably nothing to worry about. But. I thought I'd get them to check at this point. And it was indeed. Nothing to worry about. Just a slowly growing wart. Uh huh. We saw another boxer on the way back from the vet. Big guy. Very well behaved. Slightly grey around the muzzle. As we were next to the park, I pulled in and decided to give Athena a gentle walk around, hoping we would bump into the boxer. Not to be. The boxer and owner marched across the park out of our reach. Shame. Instead we pootled our way around the square meeting a lot of other doggos. Athena accepted allcomers with a steady patience. Even the in her face balls of energy. She's seen it all at this point. She's very friendly,...

 Yeesh. Managed to play an online game a little in the late evening, but it was rough. The migraine - I am guessing - messed with me a long time. And I also got wonderful secondaries, like, the shakes. Also. My stomach is not sitting right. Nausea when empty. Painful. Fizzing. Sigh. It very much feels like when I've had the suspected but never confirmed ulcers in the past. It does seem to have a habit of turning up on a semi regular basis ( as apparently they can do, and you need to get them fixed - the NHS for its pains refuses to even look, so, yay ? ). Perhaps it's just... feeling... a bit... bruised. Perhaps the aspirin set it off, although, unhappily it wasn't right before the aspirin, so, meh. Siiiiggggh. A never ending clown car of bullshit. I don't need to mention my ass is a state again at the moment do I ? No ? No. Good. Goddamn this is miserable. I need to get that will properly in order.

 Super rough day today. Mostly asleep. Migraine has kicked my ass. The usual suspects have also lined up with it. Yikes. I swear. One of these days. I'm going to go pop. My body seems more malfunction than anything. Migraine seems disinclined to leave. Grumbling around. Sleeping through it doesn't seem to have tremendously helped, but then again, perhaps I've managed to avoid an even worse one. At least for the moment I am just about functional, even though it's threatening to return in strength and mess me up. A few days ago I had a mini migraine - threatened, but after making myself sleep of an hour or so, it promptly left. So. Seems like my system has been prepped for migraine territory. Mmm. The grumbles increase. My stomach sloshes queasily. Bleh. I need to stop writing.

 Today I am feeling decidely misanthropic. My patience with my fellow human beings seems to have run dry. Sick of them. Sick of idiots. Sick of uncaring bullshit. Sick of herp a fucking derping around ignorantly doing shit and causing damage along the way. I have come to the horrible conclusion that yeah, as a species, we are literally that fucking stupid. One of the many straws today was a general consensus being : Money solves all problems. Not many. Not some. But all. About as idiotic a statement as you can get. But. By jingo. The bulk of the consensus was that this was completely correct. I pointed out that was demonstrably not true. You cannot buy health. Or youth. Or trust. Or love. Or inner contentment. Peace. Mental stability. No amount of money reverses a terminal decline. Or old age. If it did. Evil shitbags like Murdoch would kick around forever as a healthy 21 year old. But apparently I was wrong. You are wrong. Money solves all problems. Spoken like a truly fucking idi...

 Down again. Then up a bit. Boing, boing. No day is easy. Some days are wipe outs. So it goes. I chatted to my brother the other day about the whole nephew thing. He was protective of our sister. She does a lot. Has a lot on her plate. Which I agree with. Probably not a conversation I should have had to be honest. Just. Better not to go there. He listed the ways she has struggled to help and has always put herself out there. Which is undeniable. But the point was. And everything he listed. Was like a game of logistics. Problem ? Here's a fix. Need a car ? There's a car. Need a floor ? There's a floor. Babysit. Ok. All. Mechanical. No doubt helpful and physically supportive. But it was like watching cans of beans being moved. And my brothers whole argument was of moving cans of beans around a warehouse. I listened and understood. Then pointed the mechanical aspect of it. At no point was there an emotional response. A hug. Empathy. Explicit care. Ask less about whether a can...

 Slightly better today. A sliver of energy. I think I slept a bit better. Kinda. And. Ass is less gloopy. So hooray. After a very sluggish and awful start, I have tentatively prodded my way around how well I feel and not pushed it. Noodled around. Made dinner. I think that's about my limit without taking the piss and staying on the right side of still feeling a bit better. There's a big part of me that hates my life is now this. But eh. I will take any little sliver of relief I can get. It does, I guess, make you really appreciate the tiny things in life. Got a call from the hospital. Wasn't near my phone to pick it up. I am guessing it's the surgery team trying to pencil me in for a date. Which is a good sign if they are this early - last time it took them literally years to get to that point. I tried giving them a phone back. Stupid. Unfortunately, the hospital says, we cannot trace who called you. So. Yeah. Maybe they will call again. Amazing. 21st century. And the h...