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Showing posts from May, 2020

Thursday

Woke up feeling considerably better than I have done in a while. Noodle around with some work, arrange to go for a socially distanced walk with a friend in the early afternoon. Take a walk in the sun. Sitting on the edge of the river after 20 minutes I can feel a wave of ill feeling slowly beginning to creep up on me. I need to go. Get home, do not feel well. Feeling slowly gets worse until by 6pm and I feeling awful. I go for a nap, end up sleeping 4 hours. Wake up somewhere around 10pm. Watch a stream for a couple of hours before back to bed again. I turn over in my mind exactly what's wrong with me. I am unsure. Is it because I've had a continually reopening bleeding wound on my ass for 9 months ? Is it some weird ass covid long tail post effect ? Is it the opening serious salvoes of MS ? Is it something else nefarious ? I am tired. I am ill. I ache. I cannot shake it. I have not been right since my trip to A & E with disastrously high BP back in Feb. My ears hav

Wednesday

Slightly disturbed sleep. Dreadful heartburn makes a reappearance after not making a show for a year or so. Mouth fills with stomach acid whilst asleep, bringing me out of sleep in a sharp jerk with a throat on fire and breath that burns everytime. Really nasty. Dad had the same thing. Hiatus hernia in his case. Meh. Almost certainly because I ate too late. Unusual that it didn't trigger until around 6am though. Usually it wakes me up middle of the night with my throat lining burned to a crisp and if lucky some in my lungs for that awesome worse every time you cough thing. Wake up feeling like death warmed over. Feel ill. Fortunately not too many pains today - took a dose of painkillers before sleep. But. Feel ill. Tired. Low energy. Hoping it will pass. Sit and zombie out in front of the computer with a cup of tea. I'm tired of being ill. If I'm going to die can I please just get on with it. Feel slowly better during the day before getting to 3pm, hit a wall of tiredne

Go

I'm writing this as a way of keeping track of things. Many a long year ago I kept a bit of a journal, about work, and code, and projects, and accidentally ( incidentally ? ) documented my descent into mental health hell. It was also kinda useful. For me. And others. As it turns out. Anyway. Some thing. Different tune. I've been feeling fairly seriously physically ill of late at different times. Something is very wrong. Not sure what. The delightful NHS are their usual mix of concern, complacency, excellence, disorganisation, fuckups and currently also putting everything off to deal with the pandemic. Things are scheduled. But eh. Somewhere between now and the heat death of the universe someone might see me. And possibly be bothered. Or perhaps not. Enough rambling. 26th May 2020 - Morning - Ill Back to work today. I felt so rough lately I took the almost unheard of step of taking a week off. The results were mixed. Felt better in some ways. Still far from great however