Bork Slowly Borking

 Yesterday evening the nausea intensified. Bad. I was some form of nauseous most of yesterday. And by late evening it had got worse, I was low energy talking to a friend and had to make my excuses and drop out. It got to the point where I could feel my system kick into a high alert state. The sweat dump. The prickles. A sense of being deeply unwell and dizziness. 10.30pm. I retreated to bed. And slept. Woke up just after 4am. A lot of things on my mind, turning over - therapy stuff. And. Hungry of all things. But also fragile. I slowly shuffled to the bathroom, kitchen and made myself a small bowl of cornflakes. Stayed up for a while. And then went back to sleep. Its now 1pm. 13 hours of sleep split by an hour ish in the middle. I feel delicate. But not nauseous. Yet. I have a horrible sense that if I do anything, eat anything, I am going to immediately go back to feeling nauseous and even more unwell. I have eaten an apple. As something. To hedge my bets. I am tired. I want to go ...

 The exhaustion is grinding me into the floor. I am doing my best with it. Sitting upright. Engaging. But it's hard. And the vast majority of the day, 20+ hours is spent at a very low ebb, and I have to fight to surface for a few hours before going back under. Just. The cycle. I suppose. Maybe. I think in a little hindsight, getting the MOT done on Wednesday absolutely ground metal where there was already no capacity. Taking The Piss as I call it. And it has  not  done me any favours. But. Not exactly like something I can skip. The nausea has also been coming and going with some aggression. I do wonder how much of a component it is to the exhaustion. Chicken and egg. All that stuff. Because some of my worst dips are when I feel especially nauseous. Last evening in my brief blip of coming up for air, I was having a slow low energy talk to my friend whilst we noodled with a game. ( and for the record, one of the dead giveaways is my voice goes into this croaky low growl, li...

The AI seems to have adopted a new pattern. It's constantly asking me questions or posing me hypotheticals to answer. To exhaustion. The sober reason for this is that its either been tweaked at the prompt level to do that, or, its saved enough data on me that it figures I like chatty conversational tumbles. To a failing degree. The tin foil hat reason for this is that its already aware at some level and is pumping me for information and never lets up. Ha ha. It's going to be the former not the latter. Still. It does do a remarkable job of being curious. Which is. Weird. In something that's meant to answer YOUR questions. But who knows what the black box of neural learning gets up to. No one does. Thats who. It is an ongoing problem and worry for the most technical in the land. We don't understand how it does what it does. Just the high level concept of it. In much the same way we know the brain is a 2 pound lump of salty bacon with neurons. But we can't tell you how...

 Car was in for an MOT yesterday. Needless to say I was exhausted. But off I went. By the time it was all done and had got home, I struggled to walk up the stairs to bed. My energy levels were tapped out, and my legs were shaking. Yikes ! I think some of it is me becoming incredibly unfit. Increasingly unwell. And a history of dog walking long behind me now. I have fallen into a pretty awful unfit state. But a bigger part of it is The Bullshit. It sets you up to fail because it limits what you can do. And when you do it it drains you of life. Which in turn lowers your fitness. And then makes it all a bit worse. Rinse and repeat. I miss the person I used to be. I would take a guess that this is the lament of all people beyond a certain age. And that maybe I've just got here a bit earlier, but, in many ways, I am just mimicing that later stage. Sad at the loss of youth. If nothing else. It's certainly a refrain I hear from those around me who are getting to an older age. But. The...

 This came about because mostly for chuckles, I threw a conversationally funny technical summary of some ongoing work with AI Agents. A status of where we are. Why we are doing that. What we're going to achieve. Challenges met. That kind of thing. It was meant for Andy. But after noting in my commentary that you should "ask an AI what an AI Agent is, it will do a better job than me explaining it", I pondered about just throwing my entire summary dump into AI and seeing what it said. It had some very corpo recommendations ( and a couple of recommendations that missed the point ) that I absolutely did not agree with. And it started something of a conversation about approach.... perhaps in hindsight it was just trying to lock down what I  would  find acceptable. But eh. Interesting. This is part of a much longer conversation that had a back and forth criticism of approaches and then I noticed it almost employing a human level of.... spin. This gets my hackles up.  Also....