Jan 19

Morkin stands on the flood plains of the Wensum looking East. The Ice Fear is cold today. He thinks again.

Slowly, steadily I have got worse again

Today is very rough. The malaise is very strong. I feel submerged under a fog of illness. A bad flu. But no temperature again. Exhausted. Sluggish. Ill. Barely able to maintain concentration. The words here flatter me. Fits, starts, drifts.

So my lift for a single day a couple of days ago was a fluke it seems. Or. I just don't have the key to it. I am almost certain it's the former than the latter. I have tried carefully reproducing diet. Sleep. Nothing.

I need to somehow get myself in gear to go to therapy today. Very hard.

Been lying here for a few hours trying to coax a cough out of the engine. So far. Nothing. I want to go back to sleep.

Hmm. This would be one of those days I am supposed to go with it. Rest. Sleep. Do not push. Do not bargain.

I get it.

But I'm going to try.

No coding. Can't do shit. Can't watch TV either. Not enough of me there. Makes me slowly feel worse.

Goddamn. I feel ill. 

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