Jan 23 11.30AM

Finally moved. Half hydrated. No food - don't feel up to it.

Nausea has increased a tick. Stability declined. Capability and motivation to do anything have shifted to "mindless" state. Concentration and energy is just on the growing feeling of unwell.

Heart rate up.

A tickle of anxiety of an "oh no" anticipation of further deterioration. 

Defensive. Sit. Rest. Don't. Fucking. Blink. Freeze everything. Wait.

A sliver of concentration back - returned from the "mindless can't think of anything except I'm feeling ill" state.

Very fragile. 

Debating noodling with code - almost certainly an overburn push stupid.

Or rest in recovery position, watch crap on youtube, snooze.

I know the answer. I don't want it to be the answer. 

Frustration. Go with the rest. Maybe I can noodle later. 

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