March 17th

I might have this figured out. I am suffering a slow heart failure ( and a bunch of other stuff ). Pretty sure my arteries are fucked.  Left arm dead and tingly a lot this morning. Some pains in heart. And. The bursts of anxiety.  But its very specific. 4am onwards. As my system slows, blood flow declines it reaches critical. Not enough oxygen. Tingles where blood cant get to. Breathing increases giving me thirst. And finally a burst of anxiety as my body gasps for air but not breathing- blood wise. As I pull back into waking I am calm, but its clear whats going on. All the pains in my heart the last few weeks. The dizziness. The spacey head from lack of oxygen. And the last few years the increasing problems with circulation at night.  Since Dec I wanted them to check it. No one has. Cardio blew me off. 

And now I think its critical. I can't sleep of a morning anymore. When the body thickens your blood. I fear its too late to fix given the glacial pace of health services atm.  I just don't want it to hurt when I die. Not gonna happen though. Its gonna hurt before the end.

Maybe. Running in circles trying to figure it out as per usual.

Took 2 anti anxieties and it made me go back to sleep. Woke with left arm dead, right arm tingles and a dizzy head.

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