March 25th

 My small improvement in the last few days seems to have hit a plateau. Feel pretty terrible this morning. Back was crawling last night, felt unwell in bed. This morning my system felt on the verge of flipping into crisis. I have no clue what's going on with me.

The face in the mirror every day. Grim.

My small amount of positivity about the future slides away as I start to think that this might be as good as it gets. The new normal. Just on the verge of critical. I was somewhat better last night, but then, sometimes its like that, peaks and troughs. And false dawns of feeling a little better before plunging back. My eyes are the constant giveaway. The mobile bleaches the depth of the shadows out a bit. The corners of my eye lids are slowly turning red / purple. Probably some feature of having black eyes for 3 months.

Left side of face tingles, weak legs, weak left arm, internals that keep racing for air, fluttering, tingles. And arms that go dead.

Today Harley Street should get back to me with their final report. Hopefully today I find out if my cardio is fucked, not fucked, or on the way to fucked. And that should bring me up to probably 85% of information on my cardio and as good as it gets without a fuller vascular image. My bet is on some level of fuckery if not extreme fuckery. We shall see. Hard to pull one thing out from another symptom wise when they can mimic each other.

More and more people pile on the viral syndrome train as they read up on it. Oh yes. That sounds very like you. Yeah. The real click has been Harley Street telling me about viral damage and saying I should get checked for long covid. And of course the media are becoming more and more aware of all the long covid cases popping up and the struggles people are having getting acknowledged and dealing with it.

Finally posting some images from the MRI I got. Around 2,500 images were taken. These are a few. The two shots of the brain show problems - the two white spots. Probably migraine damage says the radiologist. White matter hyperintensities. They can mean lots of things. From age. To dementia. To MS. To a wide and varied set of rare diseases ( like the House MD go to of lupus ).






Struggling to stay positive this morning. Left side of my body faintly tingles. And my tinnitus is up, screeching away, indicative that all is not well this morning. I suspect my improvement in mood is going to slip away over the days if I maintain this plateau. I suspect it will disappear entirely in a sudden pop if I take a step backwards healthwise. Ho hum.

I was reading up on the mental health side of post viral syndromes. It's a problem. Not unsurprisingly. People get depressed and miserable being ill all the time. Uh huh. It's an area poorly understood and poorly supported. Maybe the prevalence of long covid will change that.

But who knows. Maybe that isn't my problem anyway. Just guesses.

When I get info from Harley Street this afternoon, I will make a post. Good. Bad. Or terrible.

March 25th already. I am getting close to being 4 months into this misery.


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