12th April

 Yesterday I dared to do a bit of digging in the garden. Sitting down. One handed. But still. After 45 minutes of soil prep and planting, I wavered. Time to properly go rest. The rest of the planting will have to wait.

But not a terrible crash. Just a shot across my bows. Stop now or pay for it. So I did. And in an hour had mostly recovered. So I went and cooked potatoes. Hazel admonished me. You're doing too much again. I'm alright I said, look, I'm sitting down peeling potatoes, whats the worst that could happen.

So generally a better day again yesterday with some very real warning shots when I got close to my limit, which is not saying much.

I also ate a bunch of crap yesterday. A burger for lunch, chilli nachos for dinner. I haven't eaten crap in... months. The burger was the most amazing thing ever. Ha ha. If you want a good food experience I recommend not eating something you really like for four months, then trying it. It's pretty damn good. I ate probably 150% of my RDA saturates yesterday. Tsk. I've barely managed to hit 40% of my saturates every day since November. I'm kinda very aware of what I'm eating after my prolonged bout of illness. Can't say I super paid attention in the past to the salt levels or fat levels. Now I scrutinise the labels and tut if I see a 40% rda of salt on a packet.. far too high.

Struggling with sleep. My brain flicks on early in the morning, and then just continues to hum. The body meanwhile just wants to sleep. The brain inevitably wins. 

Nevertheless, slowly continue to improve.

Both Ares and Athena are having health struggles at the moment. Old age is biting. And for the first time in months I have the proper capacity to truly worry about them. So I am. And of course it makes me sad. I am trying hard to stay in the moment and not think about the future. Be positive.

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