10th May

 Yesterday was better. Sunny day for some of it. Felt a bit warmer. So tired though. Ended up sleeping a lot. 5pm til 9pm. Got up. Pair of panda eyes greeted me. Was back asleep by 11pm.

Pottered around a bit in the up time. Dreaded the return to work on Monday. I feel exhausted.

Today was a tough start. Lots of work hassle and drama. And as Ares walked past me in the morning, not 2 feet from me, I saw his back legs go, and he collapsed. He was up again in 20 seconds. But. Yeah. Not good.

Ho hum.

My mood is above water, but not far above it. Struggling to stay positive. Feel weak today. Tingles fleeting around.

I find myself once again at a loss with what to do with myself. Life wise. Just treading water. One day at a time. I think my mental health is largely in the driving seat at this point. It has the capability to make me feel better or worse. Bleak. Or to get some joy. And my mental health loves observing my physical health at the moment. And worries. It's a bit of a vicious circle.

Tricky.

Finally got round to copying a hard drive across yesterday. Felt somewhat up for it. So upgraded one of the PCs memory and replaced its old spinner with an SSD. It's an old media box, perfectly good enough for what it does. But the windows 10 deluge of updates have made the 4gb of memory struggle and the old school spinner to constantly whirr. It got to the point where some evenings I couldn't use it, because windows 10 would update all evening. Good old windows 10. A bit of a shouter rather than a listener, learning from its cousin Apple to dictate to the masses what you should want, rather than the other way around.

SSD and memory in, and it zoomed through six months of updates. Much better.

SSDs are so cheap now. Shockingly cheap. Not sure I'll ever be getting spinners again at this rate.

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