3rd November

 So much for lessening symptoms.

Today I have felt like utter, utter shit. Worryingly shit. A stuffed head that doesn't go. Dizzy. Nausea. Screechy tinnitus. A feeling of unwell that spikes into hot flushes. My throat keeps closing up at random. Ill.

I am not sure of the word. Let's say worrying. If not scary. I slept this afternoon. Ill before. Ill after. My mind was swimming in the morning. Hard to concentrate. And last night I kept forgetting words. Again.

I slumped into it this afternoon. That familiar fall. Crushing fatigue where everything just gives up. There is a peace to it. It's like being knocked out, but you're conscious. Ill. It's ok. Just. Let go.

Felt like I was dying again this afternoon. Definitely shades of the start of the year.

Just a dip.

Or has that clock started to finally run out ?

The CFS blurb reminds me not to freak out about dips. OK.

Time will tell. And perhaps its starting to tell. That's always the possibility.

This evening, I have come up a tiny fraction. Enough to get up. Get some food - no appetite. And write this.

Mmm.

Just have to wait it out. And see which way the wind blows.

Time has blurred hardcore today. I can't keep track of the time. It's all just a blur of resting and ill. Oh. This chestnut. Suffering. Making the minutes crawl by and the hours pass in a flash.