12th Jan

 Meh.

No sooner do I say I feel a little better yesterday than the wave of nausea hits, I feel like absolute garbage, and end up in bed all evening. 

Faboo.

Feeling fragile but better this morning - but how long it holds, meh. I have sent the GP a missive, see what they have to say.

I am somewhat desperately experimenting of what to eat and when to eat, to see if that is a factor in triggering it. As a result. I'm not eating a whole lot. I suspect there will be some weight loss in my future ! Again. Ha. The Ill Diet. Lose weight whilst feeling shit ! Leave yourself with a good looking corpse !

Bleh.

I am struggling to keep shit together at home, just, chore wise. House is going to shit whilst I feel so ill. Managing to nail my work, and that's about it. Need to get out and do some grocery shopping, but yikes, I am feeling so bad blipping throughout the day, I can't manage it at the moment.

Ha. Oof. Meh.

Eh well. I am sure it will all work out. Just a passing thing. Hopefully. I would like to see if the GPs have anything of worth to say ( eh, heh, sigh ).

Works been alright last few days. Hands full teaching a dev the finer points of some systems, and pushing his skills a little. Plus also doing my own work. But. It's been pretty good. That at least is one less source of bullshit at the moment.

Still haven't spoken to my friend. I left it with him to come and talk to me when he felt like it.

Nothing so far.

Everyday that passes without explanation just lengthens the shadows. Eh. I am zen about it again. My being pissed off with his behaviour has faded. Is what it is. It's certainly quite an eye opening display of walling up passive aggressive behaviour, and an insight into why there are a string of crazy or half crazy people in his wake. If that's a pattern to how this works out, then he will silently recover over sometime, then largely feign ignorance / not talk about it.

The nuclear waste burial program.

Waste ? What waste ? I don't even *remember* an accident occurring. But. We definitely dont walk over there anymore... where the ground glows.

Ha ha.

If. Big If. I can muster some energy. I need to somewhat tidy the house. Nephew is probably visiting this weekend. And whilst I just give a blanket statement these days - house is shit, have to put up with it, eh. Still gotta try.

The house is like a visible representation of my state. Ha. Oh dear.

Positives

Feeling better again this morning. Hopefully it sticks ! And I can do some shit. And start thinking clearly. And making plans for games !

My inner cynic has arms folded shaking his head with a cruel smirk on his face... such an optimistic idiot... 

But screw that guy.

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