21st Jan

 Hot diggedy damn I do not feel good.

Bone tired. Ears fading in and out with weird tinnitus drones. Blipping. Chest weirdness. Asthma that just comes out of nowhere. And a general feeling of blehhhhhhh. Dizzy, dizzy, spinny, dizzy. And a faint echo of nausea thinking about being a thing.

Yikes.

I have zero energy today. I dragged myself off to a chiro appointment. my first since November, but boy did I not feel like it. Like pulling cement bags. Serious effort. My brain is blipping around at times. Sometimes it's fine. Othertimes it's... uh.. uh.. uh... oh... oh... oh... no... no... no.... not.. not.. not... this... this.. this.. again... again... again. uhhhhhhhhhh.... white noise.... uhhhhhhh. Yeah. The re-re-re-repeating bit. And empty brain. And "display lag". Like running a high ping game. Jesus.

*thumbs up*

Looks like a spanner is working its way through the machinery again, clanging, crashing and fucking things up as it crunches through.

So. I've slept. Got up. Slept. Went to chiro. Slept. Got up. Wrote this. Feel like garbage.

This shit is going to rob me of my weekend again isn't it.

Sigh.

Oh well.

I will try and be somewhat useful in the moments I am awake and can drag myself to be human. Otherwise. I guess I just rest. Again. Fucking bullshit nonsense.

On other topics. After some chat about art, the concept artist asked what I wanted.

I explained.

She said she was busy - they always are, talented artists are often running to and fro - but was interested in what I wanted. No guarantee of deadlines. Uh huh.

She's an Italian game concept artist.

Oooh.

Anywho we shall see how that develops, and how much she wants to charge.

Otherwise. Today. I don't have the energy or wellness to do shit. Zip. Zero. Even watching TV is a bit of an ask at its worst. Play a few games perhaps. With teeth gritted. Ha ha. No. I WILL enjoy playing. Fuck you illness ! Probably not the way. But eh. It annoys me that it forces me to vegetate and do arse all.

Fingers crossed it's just a today thing.

History tells me that aint how it works.

Oh fun thing. I was twitching at points. As I sometimes do. I had it bad at one point. Always. Twitch. Twitch. Twitching. On the left hand side.

So I was twitching again. As I dozed. As I slept. It pulled me right out of sleep at one point, because I had twitched to a cold part of the bed, and it invaded into my sleeping conscious. Cold. Uncomfortable. I realised I had twitched into the cold. Ha. Oh.

Fucking. Twitch. Bullshit. Twitch.

Sigh.

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