8th Jan

 Ok, I have no idea.

I switched all my crap off at 10pm last night, feeling slightly nauseous and blurp and yuck.

I ordered a pizza.

Because fuck it. And. I have learned. This nausea feel like shit thing is more of a ... life ... thing... as opposed to a, ooh, a two day blip in a sea of otherwise months of normality. I have stopped it from... stopping what I am doing. Ish. And eating around it seems to give inconclusive results at best.

To add insult to injury I also ordered a coke zero.

Doubly whammy. Caffeine - not what I am used to - and garbage food late at night.

Hopped back on to stream a game with friends despite feeling ill. Because. Again. Fuck it. I did tell one of them I was feeling blegh. So. Yeah. Mileage may vary.

Stuffed my face with pizza. Drank gassy caffeine coke. Chatted.

And felt better.

No nausea.

-_-

What ?

This morning. I still feel ok. Not 100%. But much better.

I have absolutely no clue what's going on. My wisdom would tell me eating like a dick on top of not feeling well would be stupid. As it turns out. It wasn't. 

Acid in the coke ? Caffeine spike ? Stuffing my face ? None of the above ? All of the above ? Random ? I can come up with some theories here. About caffeine boosting my metabolism in general. Stuffing my face soaking up a possible over production of stomach acid. Perhaps I am not eating enough or often enough. And yada blah. But I don't know.

Hmmm.

Ho well. I uh. Hmmm. Scientifically I should test each of those in isolation, then in conjunction when I next feel like shit in that way.

Somewhat positive today. One of those crossroads days. Many possibilities. Not sure I have the enthusiasm to go for it in any major way. Tired. Not crazy tired. But. Tired. I have a couple of social arrangements scheduled for today, none of which are 100% binding. I can feel a fairly strong inner tug to just curl up be warm and do nothing. Tired. But. Eh. We shall see.

11th Jan next week. Pay day.. ish.. also the pre melt down friend deadline date. I am interested to see what Andy deigns to pay me next week. Welcome to the Guess How Much You'll Get Paid For the Shit You Do Game ! Where it's not discussed, and you just get given a random amount of money that's never more than you expect ! Ha.

Time is ticking. I will see how next week pans out, friend wise, Andy wise. By the end of next week I need to have a think and another sit down with myself for a "status meeting". Communist 5 year plan. Or in my case. Next 7 days plan. I think I can safely say that before Feb hits, I want to have made a next step one way or the other. As much as I can wait and adapt to my friend, I'm also not just going to wait indefinitely, particularly if I have *zero* feedback about what's going on.

But anywho.

We shall see.


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