Mar 6

 Eesh.

Interesting couple of days.

So healthwise. Really been teetering on that edge. But interesting. A few things are clear.

The first is that I've got something pretty seriously wrong with my gastro. On Friday, playing games, sitting there, that familiar green, nausea, feel like shit crept over me, until by the time I logged out, I was feeling pretty fucking bleh. Soldier on. Ignore it. Hilariously I had an invite to go for a curry.

Under ordinary circumstances I would have bailed at out this point. All I wanted to do was go to bed. But I just ignored it. Drove out feeling sick.

Long story short, I ignored how ill I felt, ate - and within 10 minutes of eating a curry, I felt a good deal better. Like. Recovery. Ba-zing.

I wasn't a 100%. But oh boy was I a lot better.

Ohhh, well, maybe I hadn't eaten ! Not true. I had been eating very sensibly throughout the day. My last eating was a small bit of chicken stew with a slice of wholemeal bread.

Maybe it's my blood sugars ?!

No. Rock solid. Never waver off of the accepted path.

I think this as close as I get to a smoking gun here of, uh huh, somethings fucky with your gastro.

The following day I felt kinda rough. But I had to go out and renew my driving licence.

Thus proceeded an epic drive around Norwich to 3 different post offices, only finally to be told, yeah, DVLA is fucked. Ring us up next week to see if they are back on their feet. Don't worry about it. The police will certainly know DVLA is fucky, have been since the pandemic.

Then I picked up a handful of groceries. 3 hours out and about.

Successful being able to do this.

I then felt like shit. And tired. So slept. And then felt truly like shit.. and tired. It.. kinda.. weirdly... felt like I was... "ill". With a cold. Except. Not quite. But pretty close. I felt. "grotty". Foggy. Under The Weather. Really off. And also pretty shit.

I zombied out playing a game. Went back to bed, slowly felt a bit better on a diet of pills. I Wanted to write a blog post - couldn't didn't have the energy. Wanted to make myself a cup of tea - couldn't - felt like a mountain to climb. So I just flopped back into bed. Yikes. Meh. My life.

But interesting as in getting more visible smoking gun effects. At least two different things going on there I think. Some fucky gastro thing. And a ... *hand wave* CFS thing. At least. There has been some other pretty indicative symptoms cropping up here and there - some days my hands and feet are freezing and will not warm up - despite having socks on, in bed, frozen. Some days. Warm as you like. This very much fits in with the whole, shit keeps blinking on and off in me. Somedays it works. Somedays it does not work. I am fairly sure I have nerve damage which accounts for the whole left side weirdness, tingly face, tight left side of face, and *maybe* dizziness. I think perhaps, there are like 4 different issues all adding their special sauce to the overall mix. Singular diagnostic medicine being what it is, it's kind of out of its depth to pick them apart. If it's gonna get done, I am gonna have to do it. Tease apart the debugging. Give them the singular bugs. This is possible. I just need to feed them the right info at the right time. As stupid as that sounds. They are the professionals, surely this is what they do. But yeah. In my experience, it isn't. They need.. significant hand holding to get where they need to get. Bonkers. Not necessarily.. technical help. But more. Process help. Your processes are shit dudes. NHS all over.

Anywho. I think I have a strong handle on at least one thing plaguing me at the moment. The gastro stuff. If and when I get to talk to a GP about it, I will go through my .. findings. Information is power and all that. Perhaps I can nail another ailment. IF.. they do decide to look in my stomach and IF they find something. I am gonna be pissed that they couldn't be arsed to do this for months. We shall see. 

No positives today. Not in the mood. Not good, I know. I'm ok. Just in. Fucky recovery mode. Again. Perpetually. My, fucking, life.