April 14

 Today has been an alright day.

Not felt ill. Not felt super tired. Not felt miserable. Alright. That being said I had a 40 minute nap at lunch time. Heading off the snoozes.

But that's ok. Civilised even. Maybe.

Yesterday I took a risk. I've had an nduja sauce sitting in my fridge for a couple of weeks - bought before I was pretty damn sure that some foods were triggering me, and since languishing uneaten with some reticence about it possibly making me ill.

It was either eat it, or throw it out as of yesterday.

Ehhh fuck it. I love it. But does it love me ?

So I ate it. With pasta. Noted the time I ate it. And got on with my day.

This could be a mistake. But. That's kinda ok. I did it with, somewhat of an experimental frame of mind, prepared to spend the next several days feeling like shit.

50 minutes after eating I felt suddenly tired. A little ill. Sunken. Oh no. Ok. It's not terrible. I am going to have a lie down and a snooze.

I did. Felt better. That was it.

To add insult to injury I ate the remains for dinner.

No ill effects.

Ok. Tick. Or at least. A tick... if I've had a period of being ok. I wonder if it's an accumulative thing, or, it just didn't trigger. Or a half tick. Or something.

I checked the ingredient list thoroughly - chillis. But no black pepper. No jalapenos.

Mmmm k.

So I might be ok with regular old chillis ? Somewhat ok with regular chillis ? Ok if I dont take the piss ?

My system seems to be getting slightly better with each passing day. More. Robust. This is excellent news. I feel like I may have a better handle on something that's been fucking with me for a long while. Again this is not exactly an unknown - if you go back and look at some of the anecdotal accounts I was hearing - a bout of fucked up gastro for 1 year or more after Mystery Virus is par for the course.

Maybe. It's that. Maybe it's just my gastro and age in general. Who can say. But. Good news that I least have some control on some shit that's going on.

I think my plan to kinda stick to what I am doing, avoid pepper, jalapenos, be very wary of introducing anything I suspect as "a problem food" and see how it goes for some months is a good one. After that. I might try dancing with the devil and trying the real problem foods. I am hoping / suspecting, that after giving my system sufficient rest, my tolerance for that shit will be back to normal. Or at least. Something I can tolerate to a certain degree.

Helped Hazel around and about town today. Haircut. Supplies. She is gearing up for her trip out to the US to visit the boyfriend. A couple of my friends recently went to Cuba - I almost passed comment to them that tripping through a busy airport was asking for covid trouble, but didn't. Four days after arriving in Cuba they were then whisked away to a hospital and isolated - confirmed covid.

Which doesn't bode super well for Hazel.

To be honest. I think you have to be absolutely nuts at the moment to trip through an airport voluntarily. Covid cases are the highest they've ever been - albeit their lethality is very low. Still. Why risk it - knowing that if you do catch it, wherever you are flying to is probably going to throw you in a jail cell anyway. It's a lot of money to spend on just visiting a foreign "jail" cell. Stay at home, don't waste your time, save your money ?

It's also handily underlined the risks of travelling for me. My official paperwork is still languishing in the shitty fucked up hands of the UK bureaucracy. Nothing is working apparently. But if I did have it. And was capable ( which given how my health has improved of late, I think I now am ), it then poses a question of yeah but, do you fancy going through a covid ridden international airport ?

No.

A trip in a car, on the old euro tunnel seems a lot more covid viable. It's just you, in a car.

Anyway. Moot point. No paperwork.

Noodled a little with some artwork today. Just a little. Hazel interrupted me with her call for city errands help. But that's ok. I am having lazy days anyway. And chatting to living people does me good.

All in all. A pretty good day today. Relatively speaking. I am still a million miles away from feeling back to form. But. Compared to how I have been feeling these last couple of years. I'm doing very good.

Why does every thing I do have to be a goddamn trial by fire.

Who knows.

Anyway. Good stuff.

Hopefully tomorrow is a good day too.