April 4

 Well yesterday was a bit of a shit show.

Alright in the morning. Ill for the rest of the day / evening no matter what I did.

I spent a lot of the time in a zombie like low level "I feel ill" state.

I couldn't rustle up the energy to do hardly fuck all. Played a game. Walked away feeling ill, exhausted, left it running for god knows how long. Oops. Managed to setup my painted catan set for a picture - which ofcourse, exhausted me.

It's hard to say, it's very difficult to judge, but it seems I am getting slowly worse as time goes by. It fits and starts. Lots of false dawns. But I'm being laid low pretty regularly, debilitating, and I am losing ways to effectively deal with it.

Despite feeling ill - and a little because of it - I ordered a pizza last night. This is weird. But sometimes, stuffing my face with pizza.. or other things... makes the ill feeling go away. Sometimes.

So I did that.

And felt better. Not entirely better. But back into copeable territory.

The mystery deepens.

Something fucky going on eh ?

I suppose at some point I need to get back to the GPs, although they sent a message last week saying most of their staff were off ill with covid, so, emergency only appointments.

Uh huh.

So maybe I wont be going back to the GP then.

Ho ho.

Today. Ugh. This morning I feel fragile, but eh, meh, copeable. However. I know how this goes. Ask me again in the afternoon. I will likely be green and in bed. We shall see. Do I eat ? Not eat ? Rest ? Exercise ? Push ?

No clue.

Already I can feel an exhaustion tugging at my shoulders. 9.30am. Brilliant.

At this rate I wont be doing shit at all with my month off. Literally. Curled in a ball for most of the time. Hmm. What does that mean for the future ?

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