May 17

 Ill yesterday.

Unexpectedly.

So because over the last few days my carb intake has kind of plummeted, by mid morning I was actually hungry. I infrequently get hungry, more than often, I get a twinge, then nothing. Hence why fasting is typically so easy for me. I can't feel it.

Anywho.

If I cut back on carbs this isn't quite as true. I get properly hungry. Carbs, and in particular bread and pasta turn out to stuff you pretty seriously.

So by mid morning, uncharacteristically I made myself something to eat.

What to eat though. Breakfast kinda cereals - out. Bread - out. Avoiding Rice. Don't want to overdose on eggs. Mmm k. Beginning to become tricky.

So mid morning there I am eating an apple followed by chicken and potatoes. Ok. I mean. Weird stuff to eat for brunch. But ok.

Roll on afternoon. Feeling ok still. At about 2pm already getting hungry again ( huh, is this how most people operate, how crappy ), I ate 2 oaty biscuits and a 2 finger kit kat with a cup of tea.

3pm I took Athena out for a walk. By 4pm I felt a little... off.

By 5pm and work day done I felt like shit. By 6pm I was a horror show. I had by this time retreated in misery to bed where I dozed on and off feeling terrible.

What. The. Fuck.

What had caused it ? Biscuits ? Chocolate ? Surely not the chicken and potatoes.. that would have been a 6 hour gap before doing something. Surely not.

And as for the biscuits and chocolate. I've had them on and off. Not noted anything particularly dramatic, although that being said as I have mentioned before, oaty biscuits were giving me.. some issues last year. But I kinda sorta thought it wasn't an issue.

I don't know. Perhaps not.

Whatever the cause I felt like garbage until around 7.30pm. Dragged myself out of bed feeling shit, and weirdly cold. Had some rice and vegetables for dinner. And slowly started to feel better, albeit fragile.

The very ill thing has thrown something of a wrench into my testing. I have a result that.. doesn't quite fit with anything. At the very least it means some foods I am eating I can get away with at times, and other times I can't. Which. Eh. Isn't a million miles off my fibre experience. But eh.

It raises a horrible prospect that there is no pattern. And just. Something generally shit is afoot.

Which is pretty depressing.

Ho hum.

So. Eh. I will carry out some tests on biscuits. Kit kats. But for the moment, avoid them. Just in case. The list of things I am not eating grows and becomes problematic. Try avoiding all grains ( what for instance do you eat of a morning - no cereals, no bread, this is quite a fucky spanner into a western diet  also assuming you aren't going to overdose on eggs. You're left with.. meat... and vegetables. ).

Today I've eaten two eggs and beans. A good number of hours in, no ill effects. This time round I wont have any biscuits or chocolate. Skip it. See how we do.

I am really toying quite nastily with developing something of a food disorder. I don't want to eat. I need to eat. I am avoiding all sorts of food. It's turning into a bit of a mental fuckery zone. It's starting to get tricky and my relationship with food is shifting towards toxic. Ho hum.

All of this is also reminding me quite heavily of the diet issues I have had with mutts in the past. The shift away from grains. Scrambling to find other sources of carbs. In mutts. You switch types of meat - source of protein. And switch away from grains to say, potatoes. Generally speaking, Rice seems to be better than cereal grains, and potatoes are even better than rice. Grains of all kinds, so basically grass seed, in more sensitive eaters often turns out to be an issue.

When you step back and think about it, the majority of the world is powered by grass. Either rice. Or wheat. Or corn. Or oats. Or something like that. S'all grass. Whole. Ground into flour. Or whatever. Same shit. I would think by and large we didn't truly evolve to eat grass. We can. But that's not what we were loping about on the planes eating. Grass eating - in humans - is a bit of a product of agricultural living. Which is wayyyyy more recent in evolutionary terms than say, meat. Or fruit. Or vegetables.

I wonder if grains in general are not exactly tip top for a human ( or for that matter, a dog ) diet. Controversial. And more of a paleo diet malarkey. And as for the dog thing. I'm pretty sure that wolf domestication into dogs precedes agriculture. And wolves are also not known for snacking on rice.

Does make me wonder.

It's not whether you can eat something. Which is more like a score of how adaptable you are. But how easy it is to eat something. Humans are robust and adaptable. That doesn't mean to say that some paths take the piss and test your limits, whilst others just come naturally. I wonder if grain eating is more of an exercise in spite ( brought on by convenience of tackling food security issues ) than it is of suitability. In a similar vein to something like chillis. Evolved specifically to give you a pain response on eating. Which doesn't stop humans chowing down on them. And in some cases, fucking up their internals because of too much burny things.

If you go by evolution, ie, what has your particular life form been eating for the longest time in its current guise, then a paleo diet is a no brainer. In the scale of things we've only been chowing down on the products of agriculture for something like 5-10% of our modern evolution development ( and if you look at the gut evolution then its even a smaller percentage still ). But given a well, follow a paleo diet thing, then you get the whole, oh no, its unhealthy, think of all the fat you eat from meat.

Which can be true. But then again, humans didn't last long enough in general for that to become a problem. So. You might well be evolved to have a paleo diet. But that also mean your lifespan is paleo in length. IE. Shorter than modern.

You may - and this to me seems very probable - end up in a lovely fucked if you do, and fucked if you dont situation of evolution giving you a favoured diet, which makes your life shorter, and tech giving you another diet, which potentially makes you live longer and frees you from food insecurity ( mostly ) but also goes against what you're actually built for and can cause its own fuckups.

Which really. Is modernity all over. The loaf of bread full of all sorts of shit so that it doesn't go stale in 2 days and moldy in 4 days and instead lasts for 2 weeks. Do you take reality. Or tech. Either way has its downsides. Once you're over 40, you have to start paying the piper, one way or the other, and every year comes with a spin of the roulette wheel to see if something becomes a problem.