May 23

 Arguably my best day for quite a while yesterday. The general nausea and feeling ill has not returned, by and large, so far.

Woke up today feeling like I hadn't really slept again however. Uh huh. Interesting. If it IS related to the whole stomach acid thing, I wonder if taking a shot of ant acid before sleep would help ? Another experiment to try.

I got offered a free pup yesterday. Newborn mastiff. Mother rejected them. And all of them signed over to the vets.

The owner had brought the mom in, needed a cesarean section, couldn't afford it, asked for the 2 year old mom to be put down instead.

People can be shitbags.

The vet - my friend - was unwilling to do so. Sign over the dog to the vets, they'd do the rest - but you no longer own this dog.. or its pups.

The owner did, walked off.

She relayed this all to me. Sent me happy pictures of pups and mom. Did I want one. Cute, but no. And it upset me. That people could be that much of a callous bunch of shitbags. It smelled to me like some kind of puppy mill. The owner had other expensive breeds she said. Dobermans and the like. Uh huh. Fuckers.

So my friend saved a bunch of lives. Not for money. Not for gain. Just because. It's the goddamn right thing to do.

Well done her.

I dropped off a box of chocolates for her to eat when she got back home. Because. It's the least I can do to say awesome job at being a good human. And saving those that have no voice.

The whole thing brought tears to my eyes. Humans suck.

I'm probably over sensitive. Maybe. Then again. The casual assignment of death to another living, caring, happy, intelligent little soul. Maybe not. Maybe everyone else doesn't take that shit seriously enough.

Moving on.

As I start to stabilise, not reeling from one day to the next being ill, my thinking slowly shifts. I find myself with the inklings of interest in doing, this, and that, and this, that and the other. Making Games ! Lots of Art. Physical Art. Making Shit. The familiar rush of Too Many Things. Usually a good sign. My creative fires beginning to rekindle. The urges are pretty tame at the moment, mostly in the ooh, cool. And then gone 10 minutes later. But if it follows the usual pattern they will get strronger until I am compelled to do them. Unless I get ill again.

We shall see. Taking it easy. Be zen. Enjoy the peace where you can.

Oh yes. The one giant lesson that has formed as another No Brainer, People Say That All The Time. Don't take your health for granted. Do what you can do, when you can do it. Because there are going to be times when you can't. And you will have missed your opportunity. So. If you can do the thing. Do the thing.

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