Jun 1

 Well. A couple of days with no queasy.

Ooh. Generally feeling better this week.

Ooh.

So. That's good. Perhaps... my ... system... is properly settling down after coming off the meds ? Maybe ? Or its just a blip. A coincidence. Mmmm hmmm.

Moving on.

Humans. Humans suck.

Let me give some context to that. Work. Oh no. This isn't working. Problems. Goes bang. Aiieeeee.

Ok that's serious. It does indeed go bang. But wait. Really ? For everything ?

I check it. No. Just a few isolated cases. Not quite as alarming a problem as reported then.

Ok, so, this is less of a widespread failure and more of a suspect data problem. But reported with some serious Cry Wolf energy. On confronting the reporter there was a shuffling of feet. Oh. Well. There are other examples !

Uh huh. Let me guess. A mere handful in several thousand.

Ok. Well. Whatever Cry Wolfer. Lets investigate.

So we dig into it. Chopping deep into relational data and analysis to find. Some data is missing. Oh. It looks like. A human. In the process. Didn't do something. They forgot to push a button to update the data when they were doing the updates.

So we question. When. Did you update the database ?

SUNDAY !

(bullshit)

Are you very sure you updated on Sunday ? ( whilst asking this I verify that it was in fact NOT done on Sunday )

Well. It might have been Monday. Before work.

It was indeed on Monday. Not Sunday. And someone fucked up the update of data, and now some of it is borked.

But. But. We make sure to update it correctly after the general update.

So here we are. Either something really funky has gone wrong with the update process, or. The human is lying. Or mistaken. ( Again ).

I run the update process. It works fine. All errors removed. I check the times of when things were run. Uh huh.

The human is in fact lying. Or if you're being kind, mistaken - perhaps they dont look at the clock. Or day. Ever.

Remarkable.

Hours of my time down the drain. Because someone cannot push a button at the right time. Literally. A button.

Of course, I am fully aware of how epically shit humans are. This is why the rule of thumb is, eliminate them from processes as much as you possibly can. Because if there is a human in your process, eventually, no ifs, buts or maybes. They will fuck it up. Remove the fleshbag. Remove the fuck ups. Or for short. Fleshbags=Fuckups. I don't make the rules. I just report on the extensive and exhaustive testing results from decades of IT work. I cannot tell you how many days, months and probably years of effort I've put into systems to make them inordinately clever, just so, we can elimiate the idiot monkeys from the process. Go away. Sit over there quietly. Get your colouring book out. And don't touch anything.

Humans. Suck.

And to add a cherry to the top they have a tendency and capacity to double down on their suckage and cover their ass. Lie. Misremember. And blame the machine.

Except of course I am the Aces Machine Dude. Who can absolutely confirm or deny what you say. And then present you a written report. With logs. And times. And things you did - or didn't - do. And possibly a lovely picture of your gormless self not doing your job at the exact time of day you should have been doing that. Because if there's something I've learned to do when crafting systems, is make sure humans are tracked. Log them. And their shit. In the background. Then when they start flapping their lips and throwing up arms, you can give them a detailed report on what they did and did not do. Fuck you.

The balloon deflates. Nowhere to run. Skewered.

On the one hand its satisfying to nail down a problem absolutely. 100% confirmed. And how it came to be. Complete closure. On the other hand. Its super frustrating to chase your tail because of dumb ass humans. Again. And again.

Humans. Suck.

Also, don't bullshit me. I have the capability to check your homework, and I will. If you super waste my time or moan excessively or generally behave in a way I think is a dipshit, I will check your homework and then make you eat it. Then set you on fire. Publicly.

Because I'm like that.

Sure. It's not going to win any touchy feely manager of the year award. But then. Dont fuck me about. And we're golden. I feel like punishing fucking about is not a bad thing. If in fact you want to live in a world without fuckabouts. Which I do. Very muchly.

Of course, I'm only talking IT professionally here. Everything else. Eh. You roll with the punches of delightful quirks of the human condition.

On a more serious note, this kind of work flow is quite disruptive of general work. It gives you doses of frustration, completion and completely derails whatever it was you were supposed to be doing. It makes it super hard to pick up where you left off on something else, because it feels like you already worked a full days work sorting shit out. And now you're done. It also makes you slightly shy of wanting to pick something else up. Because. Shitty experience. Yeahhhh. I'd. Really. Rather not start another one of those today thank you.

And I say this as someone who's been doing it for decades. And knows the score. It's very hard to keep up momentum with this kind of flow. At a meta level I wonder how much time is lost due to basic cockups. Expensive.

Change of topic. Kind of.

Aiming to get a test release of Charity App onto client desktop next week. To be honest its ready to go this week. But. It's Jubilee week. With all sorts of disruption going on. So. Better to do next week I think.

I think installation et al could be a major feat in and of itself. A self reported questionable network. No server. Client machine. No remote setups. Eesh. I am expecting at least a bumpy ride, if not outright horrendous.

Timing is good though. New office manager has started this week. So. New app. New office manager. New ways of doing thing. Perfect.

Elsewise. After chatting at length to one of my old friends last night, I have readily agreed to help him out with a few bits of coding, game balancing and graphics work. Just helping him with his passion project. Which is cool. I'm looking forward to knocking out some graphics for him. How curious that it's the graphical bit I am more looking forward to than the coding. Even though I am a weak artist and a strong coder. Huh.

Also. Yeahhh. Too much to do. Whee. Must. Not. Overdo it. And blow out.

Ho ho.