Aug 25

 The week has gone. Whoosh.

I had a revelation on Tuesday. Worked. Not so great. A bit stressy. A bit of a power through late in the day. By the end of the day I felt sick, ill, and had a headache turning the front of my head into mush.

But I had missed swimming the day before. And I really wanted to go.

I felt like shit. I dragged myself to go.

Within 10 seconds of getting in the pool, oh. My. God. It felt sooooo good. Euphoric. I stopped feeling ill. My headache shifted. The nausea disappeared. And all the stress simply vanished.

Honestly. It was a pretty awesome high. Wow. WHY HAVENT I DONE THIS BEFORE. IDIOT. Swim. After work. Oh my god. EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS.

So I swam around a bit. Not a lot. Mostly just chilled in the pool.

The sun was getting low in the sky, shining through the tall windows, and glittering across the surface of the pool. It was mesmerising. Beautiful. And I was free of illness. And headache.

Perhaps it was an endorphin rush.

In any case. It was fab.

By the end of my swim time my headache had started to grumble back. But it was a far cry from what it was.

Again. What is going on. Why does the water help me out so much. Is it the relative cold of the water ? The sterility ? I dunno.

Whatever it is. Glad I have found something that works. If only for the time being. It is a massive relief.

Work this week was gnarly, but, by the end of the "week" - ho ho ho, 2 days - I had achieved everything. Ticks all round. Happy people. And helped out our lead dev quite a lot. So. Eh. Satisfying. Albeit hard. And stressy. And yada. But eh. Alright.

Today. I have had - gasp - a pretty good day.

I know. Shocking. Only the tiniest amount of nausea. Ignoreable. No ill feeling. No wooze. No fog. No dip. Ok, a headache. But it shifted.

For the gift of a good day I am very thankful. Holy crap. Nice.

In the end I spent most of the afternoon with a friend. Talking. About deep stuff. Heavy stuff. Sad. Happy. All sorts. And lots of tea. I had several different kinds. Very fancy. Vanilla, hemp, manuka honey, and a whole bunch of others. All very nice. I think I could get into the fancy tea malarkey.

The conversation of the afternoon has lingered with me. Understatement. And. It's not something I can go into. It makes me sad overall. But. I am always inspired by how insightful people can be. And switched on. And how strong people can be at times. Vulnerable. Strong. All of our ups and downs are just.. amazing. We are definitely creatures of never ending change. We are very much not just one thing. But a myriad.

I know. This is a shit description. But. I can't go into the details. Which makes it somewhat frustrating. Because I treat this space like an almost entirely open airing out of my headspace. And here is something that... I can't air out here. It's not mine to air out. Protect the safe space of others. Kind of thing.

I hope my friend will be ok. I hope they can get what they need. And I will be there, as best I can, to help where they want it or need it. Even though I am a super flake these days. Gotta try eh ? Yes. Always.

Spoke with my brother today. Again. More heavy stuff. More personal stuff ( not mine ). How best to help others. Ehhh. Difficult.

We disagreed about the difficulty of the youngers being able to make their way in life. I stated it was hard for the younger generation to find a place in the world. No hope of getting a place to live. Outpriced. Downgraded. He disagreed. It was hard for him too when he was young, but he buckled down and got it done.

I showed him the economic data for the last 40 years. The doubling of debt burden for the youngers. House prices vs salary ratio. Could he have afforded his housing, if, as today, it was double the price back then ?

No.

And he said he could not argue with it, the data was the data.

Indeed.

Hence. It is harder for the youngers.

Difficult. I think my brother struggles with that. My sister does too. They tend to think along a bit of boomer lines. The kids only have themselves to blame. Stop wasting money. Save more. You'll be fine. But the actual raw data on the economics does not support it. Whilst there is a truth that the youngers have infinitely more expensive baubles to spend their money on, and in many cases could be argued to be pissing money up walls. The fact of the matter is, no matter how hard they saved, no matter how thrifty their life styles, they would still not have a future, a home to call their own.

Given that. Can you blame them for being more nihilistic ?

And it is wildly unfair to simply blame them for being precious.

Without that understanding, I don't think you can truly empathise with the youngers, understand the difficult place they find themselves.

Anywho. We moved onto happier topics. Easy for us to do.

Impossible for the youngers.