Sep 1

 The days are going past ok at the moment.

Like. Actually ok. Not my usual, "ok" ( as in, I'm alive but possibly not much else ).

This week is definitely harder than last week though.

I'm trying very hard to keep upbeat and busy and yada and kind of ignore when I start to feel ill. Some days are better than others. And I've realised background shit like, how my asthma is doing, has a big knock on effect to me. For my asthma in particular its noticeable that it can stalk me mostly unnoticed, until I do a thing. Like swim. And then. Ah yes. Where the fuck is my breathing capacity. And oh boy. I'm actually a whole lot worse than I thought.

About 1 in 3 days my asthma is bad enough now to be noticeable even when perfectly at rest. The wheezy chest whilst asleep is usually the give away. The sound of sadly deflating bagpipes everytime you let out a breath.

As the asthma nurse said, I'm probably undermedicated because I'm complacent about it.

So I think I have to do better with that. And keep up the medication.

Went for a swim today, ( the third time this week ) despite the pulled shoulder. A gamble.

I tested it out gingerly. It was ok. But I could feel on some of the gentle strokes something in it was thinking about complaining about pulling. Not. Quite. But. Like itching a scab. Mmmm.

So I took it easy. No sprints.

On the other hand, I managed to knock out 1100m today. Which was probably stupid. I was slow achieving that, nowhere near as fast as the 925m last week. But I was trying not to blow out my shoulder.

Given my overall speed, I'm not sure I will ever hit the mile marker. I need to speed up quite a bit. I think given enough time I could do it, but I'm limited to how long I can swim at any one time.

Still it's not about the distance. Just the swim. But having the mile marker sitting there is something to think about. That I'm already doing over 1km is pretty amazing to me. Just a few months of swimming, and beginning to get back to some form of swimming level.

Saying that. I am feeling it today after the 1.1km. Thighs, shoulders, upper back all ache. Not in a terrible way. Just in a ... heeeeyyyyy fuck you... what is this excercise malarkey... kind of way. They are definitely having to increase their mass a little. I also feel significantly stronger than I did a few months ago. Especially across the shoulders. Figures.

I'm also spending a lot of my time smelling like chlorine. I don't wash it off immediately. I like the smell. Chlorine boy.

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