Oct 1 Evening

 Around about 7pm this evening, my mom finally passed away.

She had caught another infection. Struggling to breathe. Ambulance called. But she was gone by the time they got there.

A repeat of earlier in the year, but this time, it got her.

One of the last things she said before she went was that she had had enough. She was going to her happy place. Where is that my dad asked her ?

South Africa.

I got the call from my brother. Who was lapsing in and out of high emotion. He said the old man had seemed ok enough with it. But. Yeah. The old man is also not doing well.

We had a brief chat about him not being long behind her. And. Yeah. His health is failing, took a nasty tumble himself this week. And without the anchor of my mom being there, and his life revolving around his daily visits.

I am sad. It flutters. I am ok. A long time coming. Foreseen. But still. It's shit. Death is always shit. There is something of a softening of the blow because my mom had not been truly herself for a long time. Bits of her slowly fading away. But. Still. I think it depends how much I think about it. If I go into it. And starting counting the ways and wherefores. The fact that voice will no longer be in my life. Very sad.

I guess I am going to need time to process this properly. How it settles, I couldn't tell you. 

Margaret Susan Rice nee Ramsey. 83 years old. Suffered from Multiple Sclerosis for the back end 40 years which took a brutal toll. She had confessed to me even 10 years ago that she was tired. Now, she finally gets to rest. And if there's something after, she can find her much loved brother once again.

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