Dec 16

 And after the crashing of thunder came the stillness, a deep quiet into which no sound penetrated.

Slept. A lot. Catching up on missed sleep and a super busy week perhaps. I think I slept a solid 12 hours without so much as a twitch. And then lazed. And went back to dozing.

Today I have not done anything. After the stupid ridiculous no good busy week, I have given myself the day off. To play games. Not do much. And doze.

I have no food in the house. I can't quite bring myself to go do groceries. Things just. Eh. Drift.

Today I finally put away the two grievance cards I got for Ares. 16 months after getting them. Time is a funny thing in my house. It reflects me. Not entirely grounded in the ongoing world.

I talked to a friend a little. A new conversation but the theme is a recurring one for him.

Does it ever matter how many partners you've slept with ?

Or in other words. How many people have you banged. And specifically, although he didn't really say this at first, in relation to a woman and how many people they had slept with.

His take on it was this. In a perfect world, it didn't matter. You should be free, no judgement. But. In actuality it did matter. Because people would judge you. And it would impact your future relationships. And it would impact your mental health. And therefore, the advice should be, don't sleep around. Keep your numbers down. Because you would find it easier going in society. Less judged.

I disagreed in the strongest possible terms.

Your number doesn't matter. If someone is judging you on that that is their bad, not yours. Sex is chemically the most fun, most fulfilling shit you can do that has, by and large, no ill effect. Better than stuffing your face with fat, or sugar. Better than filling your system with drugs, alcohol, or flinging yourself off a cliff attached by a cord. It is what you're designed for. It is the sole goddamn purpose of your existence and you have been wired to be rewarded for it. In a world full of misery, and taxes, and people judging you, or selling you something, it is an unadulterated good thing. One that a very strong line of protestant bullshit thinking has worked on many centuries to demonize, control, throttle - especially women. To make it dirty. And non virtuous. Just. Because. Of power. And envy. And fear. And all that shit.

Could people judge them for sleeping with a lot of people ? Yeah. Does that make it wrong ? No. Should you then counsel people not to sleep around ? NO. Kow towing to a bullshit rule for a more peaceful life is exactly the thinking of the status quo. It is the voice that tells the slave not to get uppity, you're better off just doing your work, and not being punished. Yeah you're a slave, but, ooh, if you get uppity, you're gonna get punished.

It is the language that supports the homophobic policies of criminalizing homosexuality - a thing of the past. It is the language that supports racism. For anyone with a different coloured skin to be treated as lesser and know their place.

Challenging that bullshit is not easy. There is often blood spilled. Lives lost. 

My friend said he hated seeing people be hurt because of their decisions.

Yes. Of course. Unless you're a sociopath it's upsetting to see people hurt. To see them judged. Labelled. Whatever.

But that does NOT mean you tell them to fucking buckle down. Accept the whip. Accept the status quo.

How many people died in the fight against racism in the US ? Or against slavery ? How many suffered to get voting rights for women. To be treated fairly for any kind of oppressed group.

People dying because of this shit, getting hurt, blood spilled is awful.

But that doesn't mean to say you then just roll over and quit. Because. It's better that no one gets hurt !

No !

If you do that. Then the people that truly don't give a shit about any of it. The people that are quite happy for others to suffer and die. The oppressors. The sociopaths. The narcissists. Those are the people that will end up setting the rules. Because they don't care who they upset or harm. And everyone else - to avoid injury, will go along with their rules.

Under such thinking, facism can rise. Despots. Atrocities.

It is the language of fear. Fear of hurt. Fear of others being hurt. Because of fear. Let's do the easier thing. Let's obey. Let's not challenge the powers. The way things are.

Which is what bravery is all about.

Leadership.

Inspiration.

Bravery is not doing the thing in the absence of fear. But doing the thing despite the fear.

Leaders are not lauded because they followed the fucking herd. That they waited for 500 others to first do something and then went along with it. They do the thing. They lead by example. They are inspiring because they go forward despite all the shit.

Will they get chopped down ? Mutilated ? Killed ? Will their efforts in the end be for nothing ? Pointless ? Ground into the dust.

Maybe. Probably.

But you do it anyway.

There is no Disneyfied bullshit of no one gets hurt, every attempt is a success. Far from it. Plenty die. Plenty go down. The majority fail.

But you don't stop. You keep on fighting and challenging. And eventually. Shit moves. Changes.

And so.

Sex.

Sleeping with many.

Yeah. You may get - dickheads - judging you from how many you have slept with. Fine. They are not the people you want to associate with. Challenge that bullshit judgery. That often sees men lauded for how many they sleep with, and women denigrated for the same. Absolute bullshit hypocrisy. And bullshit in any case for anyone deciding that how many sexual partners you have means any fucking thing whatsoever.

If someone does that. Ignore them at least. Kick them at most. Fuck them. Fuck that attitude. Shake off the shackles of two millennia of bullshit christian brain washing aimed at controlling people.

Eat 5 donuts. Have a bacon sandwich. Get wasted on booze. Slammed from drugs. Or have sex.

The least harmful, most natural, most rewarding one is stupid obvious.

Don't let society gaslight you into any other answers.

And for those that say, well, sex isn't great. It's shit. Then. You're either not doing it right. Or. You've not had it done right to you. Or. There's something fucky with you. Even asexual people can get off. It's a nerve binding, brain chemistry thing.

/soap box over.

Meh. You know what I hear when someone has slept with a lot of people ? That they have managed to have lots of natural highs. Good for you. Living your best goddamn life. Go to it. Fuck the miseries. Fuck the late stage capitalism. Fuck the consumerism destroying the planet. Get off instead. It's ecologically friendly !

Yeah. So. I was passionate about it. I did not like the voice of fear. Of cowardice. Of just stay under the thumb of The Man message that my friend clearly was heavily favouring.

He does that. Sometimes. Out of fear. He promotes the language of kow towing.

He has questioned in the past the wisdom of opening the eyes of people to a better way of living, if you just then cast them back into a hell hole. Isn't it better just to not teach them ?

NO.

Fight the bloody system then. But don't stop educating people. And in educating. Perhaps they will fight harder against the bullshit.

Not educating. Towing the line. Holy shit. Big Brother would be happy.

Sleep little people. Do not struggle.