Dec 21

 Pop goes the hole. 9 days between pops. Open for what, 3 days ? Closed for 5 ? Something like that. 

I will keep tracking it.

Back at work today faced with a stack of bullshit. Half way through the day, more bullshit. Forward one step, backwards two.

Ok.

In short order all the good work that's been done this year in re-ordering work, not relying on me to just bail shit out has been undone.

Instantly we are back to just pile it all on.

The super annoying thing is that Andy has this passive aggressive pressure bullshit thing where something has to be done, must be done, is it done, let's get it done, it's bad it's not done. And then. Suddenly. A new priority comes in. And it all goes quiet on the thing that Just Had To Be Done, revealing that, yeah, it could have waited, it was just in fact Andys anxiety spreading like a fever. His anxiety is god awful and increases massively if he's just spoken to a given client.

Meh.

This is absolutely 100% not where I want to be. Stressed, pressured, once again suffering in a dysfunctional setup.

I am not buying into this bullshit, plying my limited energy and health into this circus of mismanagement.

Not happy.

I warned him today to stop fucking siloing people.

He does this all the fucking time. No concept of getting people skilled on various clients and systems. No. He tends to just give someone a single thing to babysit, sometimes for literal years. And then angsts all the way up when work on something else needs to be done, and gasp, Johnny is not available to cover literally everything fucking else.

Super dysfunctional.

But here we are firmly in the territory of shit that Andy really does not do well with. Understatement. These are the aspects of the job that he is wholly unsuited for, and even after doing this for more than a decade, is still committing the same, tired, mistakes.

It will change in January. He said.

Uh huh.

Always a day late and a dollar short.

And I don't believe it. It's always fucking something. Year on year.

I shall perservere at work for the moment, but more than ever I have hardened in my resolve to absolutely not let this bullshit arena stick. Increased time is a very short term measure. And then. Never. Ever. Again. In hindsight I should never have agreed to do this extra time in the first place. The failure to get fucking resource in place is not my failing. And now not only am I compensating for a management failure, but I am being additionally punished for it, like the dam waters breaking.

I am as about as unimpressed as you can get.

It has even got me started really fucking second guessing working at all for Andy again.

Just knock the whole shebang on the head. Done.

Meh. In reality if I can regain that control and firewall myself from the absolute fucking management insanity that goes on, things will be better. I just need to correct that time mistake.

I cannot, I realise, completely insulate myself from the utter incompetencies and idiocy of everyone around me. Ultimately I am impacted by the mediocre. The failure to do their jobs. The hard of thinking. The incompetent dribblers that make up the bulk of society. Be that GPs. Bureaucracy. Work. Local governance. People fucking stampeding to buy out toilet roll.

It's like being locked in a zoo filled with shit throwing monkeys.

And I realise that it will be the end of me. There's nothing I can do about it. I am going to be shit covered, whether I like it or not. My fate will end up in the hands of some screeching excrement covered monkey. Probably some fucktarded GP who can't be arsed to do their job, has spent 30 seconds trying to read my notes and pull something out of their arse. And for that. I'll get neglected. Fucked. And things will spiral. NHS can fuck off.

Real talk. Humanity by and large is comprised of absolute fuckwits. That have a tendency to panic. And become selfish when backed into a corner.

I hate being on this fucking planet with them. I hate being aware that's what they are.

Morons.

The wise and the great are not the norm. Marcus Aurelius. Plato. Einstein. Da Vinci. Nietszche. They flatter everyone else by being an outlier on the general grubby fucking cow herd that is the rest of the cud chewing human race.

The one thing people can do reliably, is spread uncounted witless offspring into the world, and, voraciously consume everything around them without awareness until the environment collapses.

Agent Smith in the Matrix has it right. Humanity is like a fucking virus.

/rant over

As you see, I am not pleased.

In other news, my friend, my ex, who may even be reading this, has finally, after 25 years of imho, largely untreated undiagnosed mental health difficulties finally reached out to get professional help. The step is huge. Amazing. Hopeful. Brilliant. Such a hard step for so many reasons. The amount of doubt, and self loathing and fear and everything can build over the years. A hard nut to crack. As ever. Knowing is half the battle. Getting to that place where you take the hand to help you is part of that knowing step. I am very hopeful she will now be on some path to a better place. It may be rough. And long. And not without backward steps. But. It is an infinitely better path than the one she was on I think. I am glad for her. And for myself, I can somewhat collapse in relief. I no longer have to fight that fight to get her to get help - sometimes with a punch in the face.

Elsewhere, my patience that ran dry on all things humanity has slowly been repaid by those slowly coming to a realisation that they perhaps weren't great.

But still.

I find my patience with people has improved a little. But. I find myself thoroughly disenchanted by it all. I am not sure I will ever be in the mood again to help anyone new. Perhaps old links that are still there. Maybe. But new ones. Definitely not. And some old links. Definitely not. Put up. Shut the fuck up. Say nothing.

I am also finding that all the things I know and can teach. I am. Super less inclined to bother. Why ? Why does anyone fucking deserve me explaining things ? Teaching. Giving my experience. Fuck it. People suck. I will keep my secrets to myself and watch everyone just bumblefuck around in surprised ignorance.

Case in point today. I had a brief conversation with someone over hyprocrisy. They were decrying loud and obnoxously about something being hypocritical. 

I pointed out they were missing the context. That feeding someone who was starving was a good thing, whilst feeding someone choking on food was bad. The same thing - feeding, and it's value, good or bad, could only be revealed based on its context. What are you talking about they said. I would help the person choking.

Whoosh.

The noise of the point going over their head.

An idiot. An utter fuckbrain who could not grasp what the word context meant or its application. Hurr durr. You help someone choking. Jesus christ. It's like pointing into the sky and the person staring at your finger instead of the sky. Brilliant.

I tried again to explain context.

It was clear they had no clue what the word was. They skipped it. You know when you use a word and you can see the other person hasn't got a fucking clue what it means, but is too proud to ask. So they just ignore it. It was that.

It occurred to me that this pattern of idiocy was common amongst the sound bite retards, particularly the American Conservatives. Is it that they do not have the smarts to understand things like context ? They don't even understand the word. They can only parrot what they've been shown. And think of things in an absolute, good, bad, doesn't change. No context. No subjectivity.

Is it, in fact, just down to how fucking stupid you are.

Those hard of thinking cannot grasp the complexities of the modern world, and retreat into a moronic cul-de-sac. Afraid and alarmed by the concepts out of their reach. Instinctively lashing out at all which eludes their intellectual grasp. Hence. Science. Bad. Faith. Good. Scientists. Bad. Sound bites good.

A bit of a realistion. This is exactly the behaviour pattern of a fucking moron. A mouth breather. Someone who can barely walk and talk at the same time.

People ripe to be conned via tele-evangelists, con men, and smooth tongued propagandists.

Which raises the point.

The whole. Average IQ is 100. Half the people you meet will be more stupid than that.

Does the near 50% of the US that seems locked in fuckwittery get explained away just by the simple fact that they are stupid.

This is the rump of the cattle species that is humanity, drooling in the rear.

Democracy, as Churchill famously said, is a terrible form of government, but it's the least worst one we have.

Democracy, as it stands, gives those drooling mouth breathers a say in how things should work. If they cannot grasp complicated things tough. Guess what. Society is going to skew torwards stupidity. Because a whole bunch of morons can't cope. And. Are spiteful. They'd rather cut their nose off to spite their face, rather than someone competent actually do something.

The human race even at its best is way wayyyyyy less sophisticated, smart, than it likes to think it is. It likes to preen about the advances of those few handful of smart outliers, whilst meanwhile, not having a fucking clue what any of it means. And half the people. Are worse than that.

Is that in the final analysis what it's all about.

A whole bunch of humans are just too fucking stupid to continue.

Which begs the question. If democracy fails. What else is there ? A meritocracy ? Who decides what the merit is ? Can you even measure the merit ?

Meritocracy has some serious flaws, mostly because, what you deem as merit is often no such thing. A successful businessman ? What ? Like Musk ? Or Trump ? On closer inspection those dudes are fucking idiots too.

Smart people ? Scientists ? People with good IQ scores ?

Also a problem. Being smart at Sudoku, doesn't mean you're smart running a country.

The problem is, metrics determining merit are poor at best, and at worst, absolutely useless. Like trying to measure the depth of the ocean with bananas.

Wisdom is impossible to measure. At least. So far we have not come up with a way to measure it. Intelligence can.. kind of.. be measured... in some use cases, for some things. Ish. IQ is... an ish... test.. of some aspects of intelligence. But like a tip of an iceberg, it is far from the whole picture. Often those with a good IQ can turn out to have the "common sense" of a brick.

Wisdom. An all round sense of knowledge. Education. And quick analytical thinking. Yeah. There are no metrics for that.

I think being something of a polymath is just the start. Good at many things. But the context of those things is also important.

If we cannot even measure what a good candidate to make progress would be, how on earth can we build a society on todays scales that works.

The best - incredibly shitty and flawed - method we have at the moment, is stick them in front of a camera, ask them some questions, and see what answers the idiocracy voting for them likes.

Hilariously shit.

First. You need to understand how to measure wisdom. Intelligence. Charisma.

Then you need to put in place a system where they can flourish and drive society. And firewall the drooling masses away from making any decisions that count.

Democracy being the lowest common denominator is no good in a world where a moronic mistake could end up being the end of everyone. Climate policy ? What's that ? Fuck it. Open up new oil fields. US policy as recently as a few years ago. Brilliant. Moronic. Voted in. It's not just a case of elitism. It's a case of goddamn survival. If you let the morons make many more decisions, everyone is going to suffer.. a lot.. if not outright die.

Ranting again aren't I.

Ha.

Meh.

Observing alien species. If you're out there. I would like a lift. Please and thank you. We can chat. I would like to leave the planet.