Mar 9

 Slowly. Oh so slowly. I am having brief periods of feeling a bit better.

Don't get me wrong, I am still woozy and screechy and bullshit. But. Perhaps I am just coping a little better. But I know it's not just that. I am at times, managing to reach an... easier to cope with state of bullshit.

I even cracked a joke yesterday. And laughed.

My bad points in a day are pretty worrying though. I had two kicker headaches yesterday. Both threatened to become migraines.

Grazing of the aspirin. Gout be damned.

And they resolved out.

Today. Another one softly grumbles around the front of my head. I have not taken aspirin for it. This could be a mistake.

It has been the signature "mood" of the last 3 weeks. The continual headaches and migraines. The tickling of crawling left side of face at times. A bit of a weak left leg. An off left side.

I know. It sounds shit. I mean. Proper, oh, that sounds worryingly coordinatedly shit.

Eh what you gonna do.

Put up with it is what you're gonna do.

I was trying to think last night of a pithy NHS put down. Couldn't quite nail it.

If the NHS were in charge of tying shoe laces, with 10 people needing their shoe laces tied, they would kill one, tell another it was all in their head, tell seven of them to fuck off or ignore them, and the final one they'd put on a shoe laces tied waiting list for a year, and ask every 2 months whether they still, really, needed their shoe laces tied.

Neatly sums up their twattery I feel.

Spent a relatively nice late afternoon with Hazel yesterday. I didn't wipe out. Didn't feel like garbage. Pretty copeable all round. I could almost pass for - gasp - normal. So. That was nice. A bit of a holiday from being me. We went for a dog walk, and then Hazel was underfed, underwatered, undercaffeinated, so she bucked for getting a burger. I also hadn't eaten or had anything to drink, but, this is often my usual hilariously bad operating state. So we had a burger, followed by a coffee. The doggos shared a bit of my burger. They loved it. Of course. If you want enthusiasm for life. Talk to a dog.

A very modern 21st century dysfunctional bullshit family. Two flawed people not in a relationship, with their kids - dogs - in the back of a car.

How times change.

I have been slowly exploring commercial coffee. Starbucks. Costa. Caffe Nero. In the past, I have hated them. I also low key despise the twattery and snobbishness around them. If I visit such a place, I just get a tea, earl grey, hot. As Picard would say.

But on one of my fuckily ill periods I got a random twinge for a coffee. Perhaps. It might help ? I don't know. You get to a point where you try anything. So I had a Caffe Nero delivered. Also because when you can barely get out of bed, having someone turn up on your doorstep with something to eat and drink is beyond helpful, getting into essential.

It was delightful. Smooth. Yummy. Amazing. Perhaps this was just me being ill and getting something nice though.

I have since tentatively, slowly, gone around cross sampling. Starbucks - shit. No thank you. Garbage. This is why I don't like coffee. McDonalds - ah ha ha. No. The worst of the worst. Costa - ehhhh ok. Passable. Would not try again.

So just Caffe Nero then. In fairness, my enthusiasm for Nero has slowly waned. I think my first hit was my.. first hit... on a shit day... which probably increased its wow factor. But even so. They are good.

And just like that, I might have turned into an Italian Coffee snob. As it turns out. It really is better.