Jun 27

 Oxford.. end of day 3 I guess. Or 2 if you're counting full days.

Super busy again. No stopping for lunch. Doing my thing and pushing on with code.

It's apparent they are dying for IT support. A range of minor issues and breaks that they have no idea how to fix that I put right within minutes. These are sideline quests. A question on the side. Explaining this. Or that.

Today I properly met another couple of the charity workers who had been out on Monday. One of them was super duper enthused with the tech. The software. How does it work. She genuinely had the spark. She's a good IT person in the making, a good programmer in the making. Smart. Interested. Excited.

But that's not her job. To be a programmer. She's the office manager. But still. She lit up.

I talked to my friend about it and ended up showing her the gubbins underneath. The server. The database. The code. We even went through making a small change to the app itself - adding a new field. She did most of the work, I talked her through it. She was excited about it. A nudge here, a nudge there. I made the computer do something very cool. Yeah, you did. She was quick. Honestly quicker than anyone I've trained.. eh... since ever.

She wanted all the things. She asked tangent questions that showed it wasn't just a how do that, but a bit more, why, where, and what's this over here.

If you were a tech place, you'd hire her as a promising junior absolutely no brainer.

At the end of the day she literally skipped out of the office saying the day had in her own words been exciting.

Not often you hear that about databases. Ho ho.

She thanked me for showing it all to her. And that it was very nice to meet me.

Happy person.

Anyway I wont get into it, but I talked to my friend about it who runs the charity. Short term. Long term. Strategy. Management. Yada. We will see what we can do to nurture her excitement in a manageable way. Long term it would be super useful if they had some capability tech wise in the office, it makes a huge amount of sense. How to do that without entirely disrupting the balance of tasks and roles is another matter.

It's been tough working in Oxford. Exhausting. Hard. Working full days in an office. Something I haven't done in well over a decade. And it's not something I would choose to do - albeit, that's exactly what I have done here. Choose to do it.

But there's definitely a positive side for it, more than I thought. I've crossed a few lines I didn't think I'd be able to do anymore. I have managed to go - for me - a long way. And function. And do work. And stay on my feet. At a cost. But still. Done the thing.

I'm not sure what to make of it. But there's a positive thing there. That I can still make an impact and get shit done.

And then of course, the amount of help and time I've given them has been immensely useful to them, if only for the fact I have given them some hardware, sorted a few other problems out, and inspired them to do stuff. But in actuality they'll probably end up with a piece of software that streamlines their processes, takes all the dodgy, labour intensive, insecure stuff and pushes it into the computer age. And skilled up their people.

My good deed. I did a thing. Helping the helpers.

Worked late today. I think we finished up at just before 6.30pm. And headed off to the at this point regular schedule of hitting up a pub and having something to eat. Tonight was medium rare burger and rosemary fries. And a pub quiz. It was very nice. And my friend has a big personality. Funny. Extrovert. Extremely amiable.

If you'd asked me before I went if I could manage doing a 9 hour work day and then go out in the evening, I would have said absolutely not.

But I have done. And ended up pushing up the boundary of what I think I can do. But it's a risky game. Playing blowout poker. And. During the day. I make sure I go out and take a break or three. I go lie in the garden for 10 minutes. And breathe fresh air. It helps. I am sure I look like a nutcase. Lying in the grass in the middle of the work day. But. It's experience. Telling me to breathe when I can and maximise it - don't fret about decorum, or normality or bullshit, just do what you need to do to get the most out of rest. To be honest I don't think I could do anything but lie down. Sitting becomes too painful, exhausting in itself. Lying down. Better.

It's hard to explain. When I used to work for corps way back in the day it was never like that. I never needed to take a break. Take a breath. Lie down. Very rarely I would. But it would be no big deal. I was ok before. I was ok after. There were better things to do than just sit down. Now. It's a necessity. The difference it makes is enormous. A huge relief.

Perhaps it doesn't make much sense, but to me, it makes all the sense.

In a way I think this is just me tightly managing my Bullshit CFS whatever. Distilled down into its tightest form. Just lie down on the floor when you need to. Keep on trucking. Lie down. I dare say I am burning energy reserves to maintain the higher availability status. But I am also managing it. I have learned lessons. There are things I absolutely cannot do. And things that I still apparently can do. There are consequences. Waves of pain and aftermath. But. There is some kind of management to it. Sometimes.

Anywho.

It's been good working down here in Oxford. Part of me will be sad it's over. In another life I think I would have if not outright liked, then been more content doing IT stuff for charities. It's a different place. And a very different set of people, most very young, most very modern, and all up the super caring and careful end of the spectrum. They're all different. With their lumps and bumps, no perfection, but all highly competent. A different kind of workplace. No apathy here.

Interesting. Different. An experience for sure.

Tomorrow is my last day. Check out of hotel day. I've sketched out a plan of what tomorrow will look like, and I think I will drive all the way home - energy permitting ( hardest ask yet ! ), and be home for the evening. Probably absolutely wiped.

I need time to process this week. The consequences. The achievements. The tests. I think its pretty positive. Way more than I thought it would be. I have surprised myself.

Unusual space for me to be in.

Very unusual.

I need time to kick the tyres. And figure out what comes next.