Nov 20

 Holy shitballs, rough day. Slept "fitfully" for a very long time. Fitfully as in, not up every 10 minutes. But every few hours. Felt like garbage.

Managed to hilariously pull myself together enough to make a call to sort an MOT out. That was the extent of my excellence. And then, get it together for our weekly session of Baldurs Gate in the evening. But I had to take a nap before hand. I felt increasingly ill.

Played BG3, started feeling ill half way through. It was fun. But by the end of it I felt so shit. A migraine slunk in. Unusual timing.

As soon as we stopped playing I went off, took aspirin, back to bed. Even though at this point, I had been up for only or so hours. And slept...

.. and went so far down. Chest hurt. Stomach hurt. Migraine rolled across my head. I could feel myself being pushed so low. So many pains and issues all stacked up on one another, even whilst I was in the best place I could be - going to sleep in a dark quiet room. 

Really. Super. No bueno.

But. I was calm. It's ok. Life at times these days feels very unreal. Like I am just going through the grind of motions for an MMO. Nailing my tasks. And the sense of closing down that game doesn't feel like the end of a life. It feels like I can get up out of my chair, stop playing, and do other stuff instead. Free.

Anywho.

My sleep is getting very dicey. Disappearing down deep, feeling awful. Slow to come back. Groggy. Yada. Mm.

I woke up 3 hours later. Migraine had mostly wandered off. But I had to climb out of a treacle filled pit of sleep and shit. Hard. It feels very much like at this point I am being slowly erased line by line. I have caught myself several times over the last few days struggling to know how to talk to Alexa. This has happened before.

Eh well.

As it turned out today I did not get to see Hazel though she wanted to see us. Slept. And then felt shit. Not happening.

Work for the next couple of days. So probably unlikely I will see her then either.


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