Nov 25

 Worse today, if that's even possible.

Now even if I sleep for a couple of hours, my eyes black up, my chest hurts, and I feel awful. My hands go dead. Doesn't matter which way I sleep anymore.

Mm. Perhaps I am just being miserable.

But it feels like I'm circling the drain. Feels like my time is almost up.

I'm having to take a lot of asthma meds just to keep shit at bay.

Somehow, I don't think the surgery is going to be the issue.

Never count out the chance of indefinite lingering, ho ho.

At this rate, I think I'm going to go to sleep at some point, and not wake up. Which. Is not terrible.

I need to think about Athena. I think I might set something up with my brother where I ping him everyday perhaps. I dunno. What else can I do ?

Anywho. Maybe shit will turn round. You never know.

I'm not depressed. Not being a gloom bunny. Just. Know how much my body is struggling at the moment.

I think tomorrow I may write a "final words" bit. Again. Ha. Always one of those things isn't it. Premature. But then. By the time it isn't premature, it's too late ? And what's the deal with trying to get the timing right ? Like it matters ?

I'll think on it. 

Anyway. Pfft. Fate wont let me off that light. I have years of suffering to go yet.

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