May 31

 In and out of bed yesterday, or rather I should say, in and out of sleep. I'm not moving much from my bed - can't. Dips of exhaustion and ill feeling. I don't know. It seems to be pretty much all the time now, I get a few hours perhaps of relief, then I will feel ill. Or exhausted. Or both.

Foot has been hurting a lot. As this is the third time I've been through this same stuff, I can say that it seems to be just about normal to what has gone before. The overnight pain is the killer for some reason. Starts up around 11pm. Carries on until the morning. Those times shift if your sleep patterns are screwy.

Seems to be much more indicative of one of those fucky rhythm things than an outright injury. But who knows.

I am well versed in it at this point. Ibuprofen take a lot of the sting out of it, I would guess it's the anti-inflammatory doing a very good job of taking the swelling down. The co-codamol has less of an impact but, definitely takes the final sting out of the tail, and lets you sleep comfortably with it. Wake up middle of the night to refresh the dose. Back to sleep. And that seems to be the absolute best way to look after it. If I get it right I reduce the suffered pain down to a minimum, and for a huge chunk of the night, it's not a problem.

If I don't do that, or screw it up, it hurts severely. Will keep you awake. And groaning.

I am fortunate I have a way to manage it.

I'm also sleeping a bit better at the moment. Probably helped by my sleep hours being under a pile of painkillers and anti inflammatories. Then again, the last time this repeated, that wasn't so true and my sleep was still crappy. That being said however, I do wonder how much of a disturbed sleep I was getting because Hazel would be traipsing around the whole night. It could be coincidence. But I am sleeping better with the house empty.

Perhaps the tiniest of silver linings to the house being quiet.

Today my ex sister in law has threatened to visit. Which will be nice if she does - difficult for me to be even half way prepared for it given I can hardly move. I won't be surprised if she doesn't turn up however, on talking to her yesterday she was utterly wiped out from a shitty day. It would be my guess that today should be a complete rest day for her. But. Who knows. I said a few things intimating she would enjoy getting out of the house. So. Change is as good as a rest perhaps. But in any case. I won't be surprised either way.

I am going to take it easy again today. Like. I do anything else these days. I am hoping my foot gets better super quick this time around. I doubt it. But I am hoping. There's also the longer term issue of - why is my foot not healing and I end up back at square one after a last week of improvement. I was careful with it last time and didn't rush putting weight on it. Still screwed it up. Or maybe it's not that at all and just a perpetually failing system. This time. I will be even more careful with it. And even when I dont think I need support, I will support it.

Who knows.

Nothing in the diary next week, which is a relief. The week after I have a couple of doc visits - one of which is to hilariously check my foot.

I'm not looking forward to either. Anxiety is up about them. Even though there is nothing there to be anxious about. I am.

Great.

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