Jun 14

Docs today. And. Predictably. My right foot has gone yet again. Fourth time in a row. Fucked. So I went to the docs on a crutch - the pains not yet fully kicked in.

Doc was good, business like, a bit brusque, but took shit seriously.

In a welcome move my local GP has started advocating for having a single doc that you can keep up a regular routine with because, and get this - consistency is important. No fucking shit. I don't think this has been lost on any patient, it's just taken a very long while for the GPs to stop pissing about and treating people like a queue at the deli counter. Nevertheless. This is good.

So the doc said I should have a regular doc for this. I absolutely agree.

So today I brought up my shitty eyes, and everything that goes dead. Perhaps they are related ( circulation ). Perhaps not. But it's a process. And I have to get the GP to where I am. Which means we need a bunch of stupid tests and some possibly stupid first steps.

He looked at my eyes said I had something or other. Basically gunked up eyes. He recommended wiping them out every day, it would take some months for it to get better. He blithely ignored the black eyes. All but one GP has done this. They don't like the black eyes ( I don't think they know what to do with it ). As for the dead arms. He had a quick poke. Not carpal tunnel. Has lined up a test to test the nerves. See if the nerve from point A in the arm to point B in the arm is working as it should. My expectation is that it is working as it should. But regardless it will be another one of those methodical tests, it's not this. So. Cool.

My blood tests from the day before had half the results already in. No big surprises there. Pre diabetic. Chronically deficient vitamin d ( have a prescription for massive vitamin d ) and a high uric acid ( duh, this is what they should have tested for when I said I had gout 3 months ago, but were too fucking lazy to bother ).

Apparently the X ray for my foot is on the system and awaiting being processing. Which as it turns out is again very relevant. As I turned up to the surgery with the foot once again, fucked.

So the docs was ok. I also felt well enough that I wasn't passing out in the waiting room. Another win. I cannot underline how unusual this now is. Where I can sit and not feel terrible and like I am about to pass out. Once upon a time I was always like this. Able to just sit. Without passing out. Now I am almost never like this.

The doc did say that nerve issues could be because of the very low vitamin d. Also the pre diabetes might be causing issue. Uh huh.

If you're counting so far we're on. Severe B12 deficiency. Severe B9 deficiency. Severe Magnesium deficiency. Off the charts vitamin D deficiency.

Hooray. At least all of those can be possibly be corrected by a pill or four.

I spent the rest of the morning sitting in the local mall. Drinking Earl Grey and keeping Hazel company, and then waiting for her to finish her opticians appointment. It was ok. I did not flake out. I didn't feel great at the start, but after sitting for a while, and eating something, I felt ok. I did not traispse all over the city with Hazel however. My foot was not up to it.

By the time I came home I was wiped, needed a nap.

And as the day progressed, my foot got worse. Predictably.

But it wasn't a terrible day.

My symptoms and pains have flared further - and my foot has gone bad obviously. It's worse after I've been to sleep. Or during sleep. During sleep, waking up is absolutely diabolical. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful, brain fog, groaning. Ah. Wonderful. I took a shot of asthma meds, hobbled and shuffled like the undead for a pee, and went back to sleep. Which was marginally better. It could have made me breathe easier. It could also be the shot of steroid in every puff. Steroids mask a lot of shit. That I get a boost with a steroid shot ? Duh. Guess what. They treat MS relapses with..... steroids.

It has been nice having Hazel over for a few days and I've found myself enjoying looking after her - when my health ticked up a bit to be a little better. When it has come down again I have lost that capability again. My bullshit really is debilitating and cutting a portion of who I am off the top. Half alive.

I need to try and sort out an appointment for six weeks for a doc follow up and 8 weeks for the blood tests. Currently - of course -  I can't do that because the system wont allow it. More systemic bureaucratic own goals from the NHS. Here's a tip lads. If it's a requirement from your users - the doctors - that they are giving out instructions like come back in six weeks, come back in eight weeks, then your systems need to fucking be able to cope with that. If they can't. Your systems are not fit for purpose and you need to junk them and at the very least reassess your business processes and at the most, completely re-engineer them along with the systems that support them. You can take that. From a professional. Who does some of that for a living. But I shouldn't have to tell you this. After this many years of the same issues, and supposedly being the top tier UK service, you should be all over this already. That you are not speaks volumes.

Roll on another day. I am fighting hard to keep positive. And not give in to the growing and escalating symptoms.