Jun 29

 So.

I've tried the CPAP.

After I hooked it up to the main unit it very quickly became clear the mask was just fine. Not leaking. And after a few small adjustments and getting used to it, it seemed ok.

So. I gave it a go. A few blips. Breathing out is hard against it. Far from making my breathing easier, it seemed to make my breathing harder. Ok. Well. I guess I just have to get used to it.

But it seemed alright. Not as bad as I had thought. This is ok. It was gonna make me breathe easier.

And slowly. The weirdness trickled in. It started to feel like I was french kissing a vacuum cleaner in reverse. Cheeks subtly puffed out. Inflated.Mouth drying out.  I don't know. Maybe I'm super sensitive or something. But it felt pretty janky. I can see what it's trying to do. But it felt inelegant. A sledgehammer to crack a nut. But. Ok. Keep on going. It's going to be weird at first until you get properly used to it.

As time went on, I shifted from sleepy, to less sleepy, to even less sleepy. And now it was annoying. Making me want to itch my face. My nose. Oh the nose. The nose got worse.

Irritated. My nose filled up with gunk. After an hour and a half it had had enough, it was irritated, something was going on, so it had reacted and filled my nose with crap.

Another half hour and after feeling like I was semi drowning I gave up. Took it off.

And then couldn't sleep at all.

My nose was now a mess. Blocked up. And my breathing felt weird with the mask off. Conscious.

I tried watching TV to settle down.

Settled. TV off. Promptly woke up again.

Rinse, repeat same.

I felt like shit.

Absolutely marvellous.

So here I am. Bunged up irritated itchy nose. Like the worst hayfever ever. An expensive bit of kit I am struggling to get the hang of. I'll give it another go. But. Not happy. Gloomy. My fucking life. Nothing is easy. 

So. After a bit of background reading on this, nasal congestion is a common side effect of a CPAP. Even to the extent of nosebleeds and crusting. Wonderful. Also it seems there are a bunch of settings that try to get around the whole, difficult breathing out malarkey, from, varying pressure over a breath, to only ramping it up after you've fallen asleep.

Uh huh. So. I'm not the only one with this. I seem to have immediately run slap bang into some side effects. I wonder if I can just block the nose bit entirely.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feb 29

 Anxiety is still riding very high. It's sketching me into weird corners and avoidances. Don't like being out of my bedroom. Don't like being away from my bed. Everything is a tangible holding of breath until I can go back to bed. Very sketchy. I am doing something to try not to give into the rampant mini phobias popping up, but, I'm also giving in at times and just retreating to my hole. And sleeping. Today I dropped off my overnight blood ox monitor. I did a bunch of "anti" things that I reckoned would trigger more the worse end of my sleeping spectrum, and it kinda worked. I woke up at 4am groggy and out of it. I dozedly checked my blood ox. 97%. Perhaps it means nothing. Perhaps it means it's not blood oxygen and sleep apnea. I went back to sleep. Anxiety smothering me I went out to drop off the monitor. Outwardly. I just did it. Inwardly, screaming, don't go out, don't go out, I don't want to go out. A sense of dread. A sick feeling. Awful
Read more

May 9

 Athenas back left leg is limp. Lifeless. Just. Gone. Her right one is only vaguely there, still trying to walk a bit at times. But. No strength. Folded. We have got her up a few times today, to drink, pee, poo. She has got accustomed to being carted around in a sling, her front legs still working. She still looks up. Wants to know what you're eating. She is, as she ever has been, still Athena. Still interested. Still awake. And tomorrow at 11am I take her to put her to sleep. Her legs are gone. Not just an overdid it. They are gone. I do not know or understand how they suddenly went from fine to not fine in 15 minutes. But it has happened. And they show no signs of reversing. Today I made the stupidly hard and fucked up and awful decision to put her to sleep tomorrow. I have crucified myself over it. Today ? Tomorrow ? Monday ? Next week ? Tomorrow. There is no hope. She will not recover. And I will have to snuff out her good life, her beautiful soul, full of curiousity and confid
Read more

Nov 6

 Wake up at 8.20AM with the sound of next door replacing their bathroom. I cannot begin to describe how deathly awful I feel. Shit scraped from the bottom of the barrel. I check the laptop. Set it up for work. And then collapse back to sleep. I worked for some hours last night. I felt a little better, so, I worked. Midday. Awake again. I come out of a horrible horrible place. Everything aches. My eyes are sealed shut with gunk. A wincing pain somewhere around my stomach like a squeeze accompanies my waking. I often get this now. I feel utterly terrible. I have run out of options and coping strategies. So Trump wins with a fairly convincing win. What's the message ? America really hates women presidents ? If nothing else it's clear a large part of the US is fine with all that Trump represents. It was always going to be this way, if not now then soon. The rump of the US is morally bankrupt, happy to occupy a devoid of principles space, large on religious bigotry and hate. The US
Read more