Jul 28

 Blocked ear, blocked nose. I figured I had picked up something of a cold yesterday. No doubt from the pool which has become infested with kids. Kids are always a prime source of disease. It's just how it works.

Today I have woken up with a very swollen throat, which is new to me. Difficult to swallow, partly closed up. It is uncomfortable - constant feeling that I have a pillow stuck in my throat, which makes me want to continually swallow. Goes without saying it hurts. Ho hum. I've had worse.

Bloody kids.

Today browsing imgur, I came across someone posting their loss of a dog. It happens on imgur from time to time. People posting the passing of their dogs. The lady writing it had an outpouring of love. Long, in depth, with many pictures. So much love. Admitted that the loss of her other dog at the end of the last year was brutal. That she had been plodding through life until today. And then she lost her other one. She was distraught. In pieces. More than her best friends she said. Her love shone so strongly through it all. It was very sad. I know acutely what that feels like.

And I am not alone.

Not just me being a nutcase. Or perhaps. There are many nutcases like me around after all.

To love something is to be vulnerable. It is how it works. You cannot truly love something without being vulnerable to it I think. If you are guarded, never fully in, you never really get there.

That vulnerability is very real. It will hurt. That's what it means.

I think the level of love given over to those furry members of family is this. Unadulterated. Pure. And it hurts when it leaves. So much.

There was a lovely comment left by someone on the post.

"The loss of a best friend who gave unconditional love is hard to put into words." 

"I know the pain of losing a heart dog. It doesn’t quite ever go away, but the time and memories with them are worth it. It’s a magical experience to have known that bond."

Yes.

It's not just me then. I take a little heart in that. That connection and relationship and the depth of emotion there is not just me being a world class dysfunctional. It happens. It is beautiful. And terrible. As much as it hurts. I wish everyone could feel that connection at least once in their lives. It changes the perspective of everything else in life. 

Back to the poster.

What to say to someone grieving that hard ? What perfect set of words might help ? How can you frame all that love and beauty and the relationship in a few short words. It is an impossible task. Nothing you say will really help. But. I find it immensely important to reach out at such times. In the end. I think. All that there is, is to acknowledge the pain. Empathise with them. Show them they are not alone. They are loved - even a stranger. And a little reminder, that being able to shower any soul with that much care and love is a rare gift, where their lives are so much better for it. They get to live in a slice of heaven, that perhaps, a lot of us never experience. That in itself, is amazing. They live a wonderful life. It is a tiny thing compared to the tower of grief beside it. Time and many tears slowly encase that grief. Like a tide that brings sand to a beach, slowly filling in the holes and blurring the edges. It never goes away. Always there. A fundamental part of your DNA from that point on. But the sands of time soften the edges, fewer stumbles when you encounter it.

Life is hard. Just the experience of living. Ignoring any of the man made obstacles we like to also stick in front of ourselves. Just existing in reality is at times a very hard path.

Love what you can, whilst you can. Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself.