Dec 21

 Yesterday was a better day than I've had in a very long time. I had a touch of nausea again at night, this seems to be something of a mini pattern at the moment, but otherwise, it left me alone.

After the previous really busy day of being out so long, you might imagine that yesterday, the day after, I would pay the price for it. But that didn't happen. Instead I felt actually pretty decent - in the relative scale of things. I even went out to get some Xmas groceries, and as I noodled around the supermarket, I didn't flag, I didn't feel ill, and I was better there than I have been in literally years.

I noticed it. Of course.

Huh.

I'm. Doing ok.

Amazing.

Toward the end my energy flagged and the ghost of not feeling well passed over me, but it was very mild. A distant warning. Hey. Fuck face. Don't push your luck. So I finished up, got home, packed it all away, and still felt relatively ok.

The rest of the day went similarly.

Well. I thought.

Maybe the day out did me good !

Today. The hammer has dropped.

Today I feel like a truck has run me over. All my muscles feel incredibly heavy. My energy is at near zero. Aches. Pains. Stiffness everywhere. Almost like a big old inflammation reaction. Again. And I feel rough. Garbage. Not nauseous. Just. Rough. And behind it all that very odd feeling again of being in the midst of a cold or a flu, but, at half strength. That's exactly what it feels like body wise. A flu. At half strength. This to me also seems to indicate an auto immune, inflammation type response body wide.

This, I suspect, is core CFS territory. You are looking directly into the face of the beast here and watching its mechanisms happen in realtime.

So. Despite trying to start today positively. And doing a bit of gaming. I have quickly bottomed out. And ended up having to sleep. Today is going to be a super low energy, kinda feeling shit, kind of day. But a different kind of shit to the ones I have been having for some weeks.

Ugh.

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