Dec 6

 I spoke too soon about the nausea. Oh, it's getting slowly better.

Yeah.

No.

Today was bad news bears. A lot of nausea that persisted, making me feel not only nauseous but really horribly ill on top of it. I wouldn't swear to it, but I strongly suspect it was connected to me sitting up in a chair for 40 minutes, slightly hunched over.

Sitting anything like upright or hunched over is an almost guarantee for me to become nauseous. It gets worse the longer I hold it. And typically it starts small, I ignore it, gets worse, I ignore it, until I can no longer ignore it, and I feel absolutely bloody terrible.

So.

Nice.

Nausea has been terrible.

Also.

The gout is back baby. It never really went away. But it has started to flare. Exactly the same places.

Ah ha ! What did I eat ?!

The ironic rub.

I haven't eaten anything even slightly gouty. A cheese roll. An apple. A packet of crisps. Two rice crackers. Some multigrain cereal loops.

Marvellous.

There have been numerous other days way before that where I have, in theory, taken the piss by eating pork, baked beans, bacon. And nothing. No reaction. No gout.

Here I have a clean day.

Gout.

What the fuck.

I wonder if the kick in nausea has anything to do with the gout flare.

Ho well.

Good job I have a GP appointment at the end of the month eh ?

So, they haven't taken a blood test - which they said they would, which they said they would arrange. I double checked. Asked them if they were sure - because I know what they are like. No surprise to anyone they fucked that up. No blood test. Nada. It is standard practice for them to check what's going on with my bloodwork and decide whether to continue gout meds or not. As it stands. I have been forgotten. Nothing done. Again. It's no wonder the others end up dying on their watch for just a lack of basic fucking procedure and checking.

I guess I can bring it up at the doc appointment. I think we need to do a blood test doc. This is me. The non medical professional. Reminding you. The medical professional. Of how you're failing to do the basics. Nice.

Fucking NHS. Day late. Dollar short. Continually. It's so easy to catch them out not doing their job, it seems almost cruel at this point. If only it weren't an incredibly important service.

Ho hum.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feb 29

 Anxiety is still riding very high. It's sketching me into weird corners and avoidances. Don't like being out of my bedroom. Don't like being away from my bed. Everything is a tangible holding of breath until I can go back to bed. Very sketchy. I am doing something to try not to give into the rampant mini phobias popping up, but, I'm also giving in at times and just retreating to my hole. And sleeping. Today I dropped off my overnight blood ox monitor. I did a bunch of "anti" things that I reckoned would trigger more the worse end of my sleeping spectrum, and it kinda worked. I woke up at 4am groggy and out of it. I dozedly checked my blood ox. 97%. Perhaps it means nothing. Perhaps it means it's not blood oxygen and sleep apnea. I went back to sleep. Anxiety smothering me I went out to drop off the monitor. Outwardly. I just did it. Inwardly, screaming, don't go out, don't go out, I don't want to go out. A sense of dread. A sick feeling. Awful...
Read more

May 9

 Athenas back left leg is limp. Lifeless. Just. Gone. Her right one is only vaguely there, still trying to walk a bit at times. But. No strength. Folded. We have got her up a few times today, to drink, pee, poo. She has got accustomed to being carted around in a sling, her front legs still working. She still looks up. Wants to know what you're eating. She is, as she ever has been, still Athena. Still interested. Still awake. And tomorrow at 11am I take her to put her to sleep. Her legs are gone. Not just an overdid it. They are gone. I do not know or understand how they suddenly went from fine to not fine in 15 minutes. But it has happened. And they show no signs of reversing. Today I made the stupidly hard and fucked up and awful decision to put her to sleep tomorrow. I have crucified myself over it. Today ? Tomorrow ? Monday ? Next week ? Tomorrow. There is no hope. She will not recover. And I will have to snuff out her good life, her beautiful soul, full of curiousity and confid...
Read more

Nov 6

 Wake up at 8.20AM with the sound of next door replacing their bathroom. I cannot begin to describe how deathly awful I feel. Shit scraped from the bottom of the barrel. I check the laptop. Set it up for work. And then collapse back to sleep. I worked for some hours last night. I felt a little better, so, I worked. Midday. Awake again. I come out of a horrible horrible place. Everything aches. My eyes are sealed shut with gunk. A wincing pain somewhere around my stomach like a squeeze accompanies my waking. I often get this now. I feel utterly terrible. I have run out of options and coping strategies. So Trump wins with a fairly convincing win. What's the message ? America really hates women presidents ? If nothing else it's clear a large part of the US is fine with all that Trump represents. It was always going to be this way, if not now then soon. The rump of the US is morally bankrupt, happy to occupy a devoid of principles space, large on religious bigotry and hate. The US ...
Read more