Jan 3

 A torrid few days, but slowly I've been feeling a bit better. The nausea has lessened though it comes and goes a little. Last 36 hours have been a good deal better.

Poppys Xray turned out to show some bone growth but nothing that would indicate that kind of pain. So. Turns out I didn't know shit after all. The recommendation is to follow this up further with a specialist, double the cost. The suspicion now is that it could be something like a tumour that isn't showing up, although, that being said, the senior vet at my locals is haunted a bit by this as he lost his own dog to that. At one point he thought Athena might have the same issue - she didn't.

Hazel has gone home and left Poppy with me - she needed to be back at home to pick up a parcel. A day. Or two. Or three. I can't say I was particularly thrilled at the idea. She left her here ostensibly so that it was "less messing around for Poppy, better on her leg". Given that Poppy is now peeing on Hazels balcony, and not out for a walk, I'm not sure I see the logic of this at all given I have stairs. I think Hazel just wanted a few days off to be frank. Which makes sense. But then say that, be honest. But. Also. I'm not in a spot to really look after Poppy well, and Hazel knows that. In any case. Poppy is here. And. As of 5 minutes ago, hurt herself badly on my stairs - a knock to her leg I think. Which is alarming. As she wasn't putting any weight on it. A lot of crying. Not good. I reassured her and gave her a cuddle, she settled down. But I found myself then angry with Hazel. Her parcel is not even something important. Just a set of dungarees. Ho hum. I know what she's like. Her behaviour is not a surprise.

Sent her a message this afternoon about Poppy. Silence. Asleep.

So next week Poppy gets to have more scans done. Hazel is going to take the bus to get it done, she flatly said it would likely kill me having to get up that early, go so far, and spend the whole day somewhere. Yeah. It would be very far from good. The bus apparently is pretty decent out that way. So. That'll be that.

Of course, she needs my wallet however. So. Uh huh.

Next week ostensibly I am back to work. I feel neither rested nor well.

I feel brutalised. Still. I am starting to feel better than I was. Which isn't saying a whole heap. But. Sigh.

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