Mar 2+
I have struggled today. Enough exhaustion to lay me out. Vague nausea. Unwell. Exhausted. All the recent hits.
Lying in bed. My mood crashed hard.
What is the point of any of this.
Just end it.
On a quiet Sunday.
Just finish it. It will be days if not weeks before anyone notices. There will be no more daily struggle to get through a day without suffering terribly. No more scratching around trying to piece together some reason to keep going. Just peace.
This is the first time I have wavered during the day.
Not good.
I have shaved my hair off today. Showered. Tried not to talk myself into insanity in the shower. Played a game for no other reason that distraction. And ended up back in bed. Tired. Zombified. Isolated.
Hmm.
Bad juju.
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