Apr 3

 A rough night. Felt nauseous throughout the night, slept through most of it, but always there. Woke up early feeling utterly shit, still nauseous.

A large part me these days is immensely disappointed when I wake up to a new day.

There is, perversely, something of a comfort when I finally sleep that that is going to be my last.

Super not good. But it is where I am. I genuinely just don't want to be here.

Nevertheless.

Here I am today. Much joy.

I didn't eat today.

The nausea kept me from eating. And I didn't want to eat anything and set the whole cycle off again.

So I had a tea. And stumbled into play some games to keep my mind off everything.

At some point in the middle of the day the nausea lifted enough to be not terrible. It never goes away fully. It just goes down to a .. discomfort. Which it did.

And of course. Immediately.

Hungry.

No shit. Still. I didn't eat. I didn't want to set it off. But. The reverse. If I don't eat. I'll get worse anyway.

Ho hum.

Late afternoon I decided to have some toast.

It was delicious. A sure sign I was hungry. It sparked my appetite, so I put something in the oven, a few chips, some cauliflower, some chicken.

Eaten it. And feel overfull again. So strange. Anything I eat feels like I have eaten a whole table full of food about 20 minutes after I eat.

Evening now. I am feeling. Over full. Very mild nausea. But I've had worse. It is. Copeable with.

Hum ho.

Today I got in touch with the GP.

Apparently rather than make me an appointment they had asked how long I had had my symptoms for. Despite me writing it very clearly, right there in my appointment. And it being on my record.

When I phoned them up they stated their question, then read my appointment request, realised I had not only specified how long I had been suffering from it, but also time historically, and then said oh. I Wonder why we didn't do that. Oh well. We can't give you an appointment now. We are booked up for the next month. Perhaps you can try ringing tomorrow at 8am ?

So.

Not my fault.

They fobbed me off.

Then have fobbed me off again.

They thanked me.

No.

Thank you for your great service.

The NHS at this point is down to not even being able to successfully read two sentences and then failing to do their job. And then refusing to do their job for another month.

Not sure what you can do. Hopeless.

Still. It's all on my record. Their abject failure.

Cold comfort.

Useless twats.

I'll give it a go tomorrow at 8am if I can. If not ? I'll just trying booking another appointment, include the history and the appalling fucking fuck ups and suggestion that I "call back at 8am" in response to their failures. And see where we get to.

It's no wonder people are dying on the NHS watch.

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