Jun 26

 Today I had kinda planned to drop off some supplies to Hazel. Her boyfriend is visiting next week, so she's making an effort to get a few things done. Curtains for one thing. Hazel has bugger all of bugger all. So I was going to drop off my sewing machine and supplies to her.

But today the CFS bit super hard. Super hard. If yesterday it was giving me a lesson, today it buried me.

I got up and literally spent 5 hours trying to move more than 2 meters. Sluggish. Brain fog. A bone deep exhaustion. And a vague feeling of unwellness combined with a developing headache.

I gritted my teeth. After 5 hours.

And determined to drop supplies off to Hazel anyway.

If you're sure she said.

I am not sure I said. But I am going to do it anyway.

So I wheezed my way to her. Trudging up the stairs with some stuff was hard. Like pulling a tonne weight uphill. But I did it. Conscious that I would probably pay for this at some point if not immediately. My exhaustion toyed with the idea of making it immediate. Collapse ? Maybe ? Possibly ? No. As it turned out.

I flopped at her place recovering. Tired. So super tired. My head was fizzing with static.

We chatted some. Hazel was in good spirits. Borderline hyper. She seemed. Happier. We watched a family of blue jays flitter around in the trees outside her flat. She has a lovely view of tall trees in a grassy courtyard. It is idyllic.

Evening rolled around and I decided to take the piss once more and go try out a pizza place in Norwich. Allegedly some of the best pizza around. A tiny place down the back lanes, run by an Italian lady, with less than a dozen small tables.

Pizza was excellent. Bruschetta was even better. And as I got a big dose of caffeine and fat, my CFS ebbed and I felt a little better.

Took Hazel home, went home, tired as all fuck.

We shall see if I pay for it tomorrow. Probably, I would guess. Pushing hard against the exhaustion when it's already biting hard is a recipe for disaster. But fuck it. Sometimes. You have to take the piss. Or end up doing nothing. Do it. Until you flake out.

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