Aug 7 Later

 It is now 7pm.

I woke up for a short period in the middle of the day, did 10 minutes of work to finish something, spoke to Andy for 30 minutes.

And then crashed back to sleep.

I have been in bed 22 hours since crashing yesterday. Asleep for all but a handful of minutes either way.

I am exhausted. And heavy. Slurry. Everything hurts. Pains all over.

Ahh.

This is like a redo of all the greatest hits turned back up to 11.

This is hardcore wiping.

Unable to function. Unable to do shit. Able to mask for 45 minutes then crash out again.

This is why I cannot have a normal life. This is why I cannot have a dog. Or make plans. Or be anywhere near ballpark. I am not as bad as some with this bullshit. But on some days, I give them a run for their money. And other days. I operate on a 25% uptick from all out shit status.

Ugh.

This time round it's almost like a switch has been flipped. I pushed too hard. And everything suddenly deteriorates. Not just exhaustion. Everything. And not just a feeling. Swelling up. Eyes going. That all over blanket of pain in every muscle, squealing like they've all been knifed. Headaches. Brain fog.

It's not food.

I have eaten during this. Rice. Chicken. Leftovers. 

It's not liquid. Water, water, water.

I am awake.

I will try to stay awake for a while. I will try playing some games. Even though I feel incredibly tired. 22 hours of bed, is not enough.

I can feel time, hours, slipping through my fingers. A day flashes past. I have done almost sweet fuck all. And it is suddenly 24 hours later. And I am still exhausted. Not as exhausted. But still critically exhausted.

I have an odd pain in my head. Above my right eye. Forehead. Comes and goes. Like a nail driven into my skull and full of marshmallow. It's not a migraine - at least, not one I understand. It's not a headache. Again. At least. Not what I understand to be a headache. Maybe it's exactly that. But an unusual one I am not used to. 

Hmm.

I'm not even sure I can stay awake. I need to sleep again. So very badly.

Suffering.

Fab. 

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