Dec 16

 Nausea is slowly tickling back. A little higher. A little worse. It perhaps is a sign I need to lay off eating anything crazy. And live a while in Porridge land, and be careful with the when of eating.

I have been super tired today. Paying the price for my overburn of the last few days. I mean. Predictable.

The tiredness whilst fitting the usual Bullshit pattern, hasn't been super killer. It has made me feel ill and brought on the usual Bullshit, but, it hasn't been cataclysmic. I am still somewhat functional. So. That's a win I think.

I need to compile a nice list of my symptoms and their mechanisms. I think I have an explanation for a whole range of different symptoms and how they all fit into a dysautonomia pattern. At the moment I have the information scattered around. I need to pull it together into a concise knowledgebase. This would help me refer back to it and understand what I need to do and when and why it's happening. Because inevitably I am going to start to lose the edges of it as it leaks out of my head. Also. It would end up being an excellent record of The Bullshit. Perhaps it might even help someone else. Who knows.

I need to do that at some point then. Write up your notes. Or rather. GPTs notes. And my notes. And slam it all together.

In other news. I also came up with what I think is a terrific idea. Really. Super cool. Not done yet. On that fuzzy borderland of Stuff That Hasn't Been Explored Yet. I have been circling something in that thought space for a long time at this point. But. This particular form of it is new. And readily achievable.  I ran it past my friend. He thought it was a very good idea. And also could see it was novel. He immediately started brainstorming about it. You could do this. Or that. You would need X. Oh. You could supply X. That would be cool !

Yes yes. But also. It's cool to watch someone catch the spark and light up. Wait. Wait wait. This means...

yes. Cool huh ? 

This is what you need he said. Projects.

Uh huh. 

What is it ?

*evil cheshire cat grin*

 You know. If I had lots of energy. Ambition. And a ruthless capitalist streak. And a history of spinning off marketable thing. I would be running off to fund a startup. A whole new world straddling thing based on a simple concept. Or, more likely. A little toy test project that lives in a basement. And in 6 months time, someone does the same thing, but with mega funding.

But that's not my bag. I am a noodler of things that interest me. Not a merchant of needful things. 

The idea is obvious when you think about it for five seconds.

I ran it past chatgpt.

"...because this is one of those “here be dragons” edges you enjoy exploring." it said after contemplating it initially. And then "This is new ground."

Yes. How very exciting. For me anyway. If you're like that. Which I am. Because I'm nuts.

Now.

If only I can run that tightrope between overbright burn because of intellectual excitement, and crash and burn out due to using energy that I no longer have.

Also.

The upshot of this will be if nothing else, I will make something endlessly pleasing and amusing to me. No outside validation required. Just me, myself and I. But I suspect. Others will get a kick out of it too. 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. 

This is also a sure sign I've had a little oxygen to breathe in the last few days. The lights have come on. The brain has kicked into super gear. And there are things in the stratosphere. Possibilities. And cool things.

Don't crash, don't crash, come on, don't crash. Keep the lights on.