Mar 7
I have been quiet. Am quiet. I do not know what's going on. I am disconnected. But not disassociating. Anxiety et al has dropped away. To. Nothing ? A numbness ? I don't know. Nothing particularly engages. I noodle around in a game. A simple loop. Do a thing. Get a thing. Simple world. Simple rewards. Simple tasks. I don't know. If I were to take a shitty guess. And it is a shitty guess. I would say. It is some odd combination. Of. Fatigue. And overload. Of giving up. Of the entire parliament of debate and exploration and everything just falling silent. Program complete. Outlook understood. But. I haven't fallen into some self destructive removal. A lot of my cognitive functions have just... packed up. And gone away. Leaving. The caretaker in charge ? Simple sweeping. Up and down the halls. Without a sense of not being challenged, bored, too simplistic. Just. Low level zen. But it isn't a comfortable quiet either. It's not some end point at peace with the world...