Apr 21

 Death by a thousand cuts.

Monday. My heating install got finished. Not before second on site dude fucked up with the electrics, caused a massive arc, and fried my £400 router.

Excellent.

I didn't do it on purpose he said.

Like. Oh that's ok then.

Yes. I don't think anyone does do that shit on purpose unless they're a fucking sociopath.

Whatever.

Perhaps foolishly. I let it go. 

Then. Later. The same dude. Did a small amount of mortar brick work to patch up the hole left by the old flue.

Before. Sink worked.

After. Sink blocked.

Ok. I can take a guess. But. Eh. I called a different set of plumbers to take a look. I dont have the energy to sort it. Nevertheless. Halfway through the day. I thought I clearly saw sediment in the sink drain. And one thing lead to another pulled it all out. 

4 inches of fucking mortar and sand in there. Very clear. This is incompetence.

They phoned today asking if it was ok.

No. Fucking sink blocked. I am assuming some fucktard cleaned their tools in the sink.

Oh no. We didn't do that. Cleaned in a bucket. No clue what could have gone on there.

Do me a fucking favour. It was one excuse for the electrics. Then another for the brickwork. Both are avoidable if youre doing a good job. Both have a clear, was working, you happened, doesnt work.

But I got slopey shoulders. Oh sorry. Wasn't us though. Right. Fuck off.

Then. Also.

Because of this shit show on Monday. I cancelled therapy. But of course. I'm going to pay for that. So another skipped session. But don't worry. I'll take the financial hit for that. Despite my record etc.

Fine. Another compromise Johnny makes.

Then.

Want to get my laptop back from Hazel that she borrowed. She has been coy about returning it - because she likes having it around, she can do shit in bed, etc. Yeah. Sure. Nice. BUY YOUR FUCKING OWN THEN. But its sly.

I said I Would be round today to pick it up

Oh she says. I Was hoping to borrow it. For when she is down at her dads next month.

A month away.

So.

She just wants it.

For like 3 months.

Without being honest about it.

Given the day I had yesterday and today. I just. Couldn't be dealing with another person just taking fucking liberties. Small liberties. But. Sure. Johnny is reasonable. How about if I take the piss.

I couldn't deal with Hazel. No words for her. No anger. Just. I said forget it. I will get it another day.

Do people think I Am fucking stupid ? And can't see what they are doing ?

Sometimes.

I hate people

This is the downside of being easy going, generous, helpful.

People will take fucking lumps out of you. To ease their way. They wont be good mannered. Or reciprocal. They'll just ask for more. Please and thank you.

I am pissed off at everyone. And Hazel.

Everyone being cute.

So.

Yeah. Fab.

Today I have got my replacement router in. £400 down. Now I have a bunch of tasks to remove the old wall mount. Somehow figure out a new one. All tasks I didnt need to do. Only need to do because some prick fucked up. Out of pocket. Out of time. Out of energy.

And my kitchen is a disaster. I've laid the pipes out. Cleaned out all the fucking sediment that "magically" appeared in there. I'm stepping over that everytime I go through the kitchen.

And on all that.

Hazel gives me the fucking run around too.

Fuck off.

The lot of you.

But it doesn't do shit. They all ended up getting their way in the end.

I Think tomorrow I will just tell Hazel I need the laptop. Picking it up.

If she wants to borrow it again. She can fucking ask.

This is the pattern of my life however.

So many people take from me. Either use me as a fucking therapist. Or just outright take the piss. Or help themselves. Or use me as their fucking dancing monkey entertainment. I'm bored. I demand you play this game with me. Or do this project.

How about.

You fucking ASK what I would like to do ?

No ?

No.

Johnny always goes along with all of it.

Uh huh.

As you can see.

I am not in the best of moods.

Perhaps I need a radical rethink about the person I project.

Sigh.

Don't let assholes make you become an asshole.

It is wise. And sound.

And right now I just want to tell everyone to fuck off. 

It's an unfortunate cluster of behaviour. That's all. Not a sign from the gods. Even though it feels like it.

Calm. Be zen. Be aware people are shitbags. 

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