Apr 22

 The cost has arrived. I am utterly wiped today. Super. Low. So low. It's causing issues. Slow to move. Slow to.. just... breathe. It's. Odd. It's like just the regular functions suddenly become not guaranteed. Everything becomes a conscious struggle. And you can feel a strong tug into not sleep but some form of unconsciousness. It's. Odd. And. Not nice. It's about as far as being comfy and warm and sleep as you can get.

Today. I burned my last reserves I think. Plumber was round to survey my handiwork of dismantling the kitchen sink. Was unimpressed with the amount of mortar sediment I had pulled from the sink. I briefly related the story. They reckoned they had not cleaned their tools in the sink. Or dropped anything in there. That amount of sediment he said. And you can clearly see it's the same as the mortar on the wall. Just be honest about it. Did they cover the sink at all he asked ? No. Eh well.

As it turned out, rather than put together the 30+ year old piping under the sink, it was easier to rip it all out and put new piping in. And at the same time fix the slightly dodgy washing machine install.

Done in a couple of hours. All working. All good. One of my jobs I need to do post heating install shenanigans marked off the list. £260 literally down the drain. That and the £400 equipment blow out are consequences of my less than smooth heating install. And it wont end there. I'm not even counting my lost time and energy.

I cleaned a little. I didn't have the energy. Threw out the old sediment laden water. Some old supplies.

And crashed.

Went to bed.

And slept. Not good. The bad nerve firings were pinging. The kind that are bad enough that they pull me out of sleep as some random set of muscles fires and convulses. That too has been getting worse in the last 18 months. Involuntary spasms. I also woke up a couple of times gasping for air - apnea kicking in. Making everything worse.

It's now the end of the day. Tried sitting up. Moving. Hard fail. Tried it. Everything went sideways. Super low energy. Not enough to power everything up at once. Brain fog. Slumping. Ill. Struggling to remember to breathe.

I have retreated back to bed. I think. Today is going to be a write off. I will sleep through to the evening and see how I do.

I still need to do a bunch of things. Sort out the front bedroom and put things back. Sort out the kitchen, put things back, and make some kind of plan to do something with the ugly holes and brickwork now there. And I need to sort out my router replacement, which is perched awkardly in the dining room. And I need to do a whole bunch of tidying of brick dust and all sorts.

It's way way too much.

I will try my best over the following days to tackle a tiny bit at a time as I get some energy.

And everything else. Dealing with everyone else. I have pushed out of the way.